The birthday girl wants to go to the beach!

                              Happy Ira.
Yummy choco almond cake from Monginis.


This year we rang in Ira's 5th birthday at Goa. When asked where she wanted to go in summer, she said, "The Beach". This was ofcourse courtesy her December vacation holiday at her friend A's place where she literally discovered the joys of a beach- sand, water and all things fun.

So, what did our five year old do. She played on the beach, ate some of her favorite sea food,swam and played in the pool with Papa, did some writing activities with mamma and cut a chocolate cake. Ofcourse she got gifts that were books, activity kits and accessories inspired by some of her favorite superhero and cartoon characters. She attended calls and also shied  away from some. Sent some video messages and some audio thank you messages. She told Papa how she was getting so many calls :)

                          The birthday selfie

The day was constantly interspersed with her taking about herself in third person, "The birthday girl wants to..."

                Kite flying with Papa on the beach

There is a whole world that she wants and we hope she discovers every bit of the world with each passing year. To more goofiness, more madness, more adventures, more dreams, more independent conversations, more cuteness and more crazy moments!

      Flower and a cheesy pose with Mamma

#TalesAtFive begin today! Also yeah, happy five years of #Parenting to Papa and me.

#Ira #Iraisms #IraAtFive #BeingIra #Happiness #Gratitude #HappyBirthday #FifthBirthday

Mamma and Ira and all things 'M'

Guess where Ira and Mamma went today?!

This was the first time that I took Ira to Mounts and I experienced an unexplained happiness, just to see her do some of the things I did 20 years back. 

She sat on the steps of the porch and walked down the drive. She jumped on the BBC stairs and asked me where my students were.

I wish Canteen chechi was still there and I could have got her the famous sugar donuts! And ofcourse walked by the famous Ditch. 

The added bonus was an auto ride to meet a friend post that. Our little girl had a happy morning and Mamma is the one who is smiling ear to ear.

#SmallThingsBigHappiness #IraAndMamma #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Memories #Happiness #AlmaMater 

The mother I strive to be and yeah, Happy Mother's Day

Being Mamma to Ira has been my biggest learning curve. I am learning every day,every moment. Learning to embrace being a mother. Yes, still saying that after almost 5 years and there is no exaggeration to it. Nothing can teach you to be a parent, no amount of reading ,gyaan or observation. It is a journey. You stumble, you grapple, you since, you smile, you try, you do, you make it happen.You learn on the way. Ofcourse, the books, the people, the experiences help...but only so much. Learning to take judgements in my stride, to ignore them with a brave face and do what I think is right for my child.

Many claim to have the mommy gene, I was never too sure. I was scared, scared that I wouldn't be able to do justice to this role, scared that I have to be a standing example for so many things for a little human being, scared that I may not be as patient as I want to be, scared that I may not be able to do everything that I want to,scared whether I will be ever be able to become the best version of myself for my little one.

But as a very dear friend said this morning, "We all do our best and we are wonderfully different. You are the best mom for Ira. It is all that matters". We mothers need to cut ourselves some slack, calm the flowers down and enjoy being a mother. Our world, our child, our mothering, our way!

Having said that, there are some thoughts about the mother that I strive to be...

I will always be there to listen. Listen to your thoughts, your dreams...even if they seem impossible and daunting. You must know that I have your back always.

I will always walk the path with you. I will work hard to ensure I never say, "I told you so". Because we take decisions in a moment when they seem the right one for that moment. I see you making little decisions on what to eat, what to read, what to wear and what to play and my heart swells with pride; because they are your own decisions and you are able to articulate them.

I will ensure you feel that you have the freedom to be what you want to be, love whom you want to love, do what you want to do. I will be there as the wind beneath your wings, but the flight of choice will be yours. Recently you chose to wear one clog from each pair to ensure you had hulk and iron man at the same time. It may have seemed illogical to many, but for us it was about your imaginative mind and giving you the freedom to be.

I will never say 'No' without giving you a valid, justified, reason for my no. You may choose to disagree and I will respect that. There will never be ambiguity to what am thinking. I will speak what is on my mind. It may hurt us at that moment but you will know that you don't have to ever wonder if am speaking my mind. I will be honest with you because I would like you to be honest with me. We see you using logic and negotiating for every small thing and we hope you retain this rationalist streak.

I will stand true to my deepest beliefs and principles. My beliefs in feminism or my stand against casteism for example. I will walk the talk because not only do I know that you are watching me but because I know I want to set a precedent for you to develop your beliefs and principles, through your own experiences.

I will never ever compare you to another child, because that is the worst thing I can do to you and to myself. You are unique and special, the way you are and I will always love you, no matter what.

I will fight tooth and nail for you. I will not fight your battles for you because I think you will be capable enough to fight them. But I will fight every person, every norm, every belief , every custom, every judgement that will shackle your thoughts, bind your dreams and ever dare to tell you, "You are not good enough" , "you don't know", "You didn't do this right"!

You must know and you must believe that I will strive to be the mother that my little girl needs, my little human being deserves.

This morning, Ira heard me wish Ma and then wished me. She just came and hugged and kissed me. What can be more precious than that.Ira and P make me believe am an awesome mom! I have my good days and my difficult days but then we strive together to make parenting an invaluable experience. We learn from eachother, we work on our mistakes, we strive to be patient, to be perseverent, we inspire eachother to be the best version of ourselves as parents and as human beings; and we accept and love all the quirkyness that parenting entails.

So, to a happy mother's day! To loving ourselves and being the best version of ourselves for our little ones.<3 nbsp="" p="">
#HappyMothersDay2019 #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Parenting #Gratitude #Happiness #Learning #LovingOurselves #LittleHumanBeings

Think like 'Little Human Beings'. Simple!

There are many situations in life, which may seem embarassing to an adult but is perfectly fine from the perspective of a child. While it rains cats and dogs this Sunday evening, I narrate a situation I faced in the last few hours.

It was the birthday of one of the kids in the apartment. Ira was told about it and the impending birthday invite. She waited but the invite never came. We like being prepared, so I had bought a gift and kept in case she gets invited.

All good till here. But the card never came. So, I wasn't sure if Ira must go. Her other friends said she should go along with them. The mom of another friend told me, "kids just come to birthday parties and it is fine. The birthday song is like a cue. You must send her". I was still grappling with the fact whether this would be appropriate to go uninvited.

While all this ensued, Ira wept like a little human being can when they feel hurt. I always feel that Prashant somehow has a magic wand and handles these situations better. I pinged him in between a concert that he is attending and he shared his opinion.

Suddenly this seemed more complicated than anything I had ever done before. Yes yes...that's the mamma in me speaking, in an exaggerated manner.

I even pinged a dear friend who always has the most sensible solutions to such social dynamics and she as always gave me a balanced opinion. Thank you C.

So, what did I do? I accompanied Ira to the party to drop her off, along with her friends. I wished the little one and told herMamma, "Ok. This is embarassing but my daughter has self invited herself to the party". Ira stood there with the gift and keenly looking. The lady very graciously said, "ofcourse not. I had given two cards for her and another child but my little one seems to have misplaced them!". Then I saw many kids attending, many of whom hadn't got the card and were absolutely fine with it.

The adult in me heaved a sigh of relief and the mother in me thought, "we must think more like children, simple and straightforward".

Am not sure if this reaction was appropriate, was it gentle parenting , was it child led, is this how it is done, is there ever a perfect way to handle complicated (or so it seems) situations like this?

All I know is, I went with my gut today for my little girl and it all turned out to be fine. She walked in proudly holding the gift bag and smiling ear to ear. As I hear the pitter patter of the rains, I know many a little hearts are doing a happy dance at that birthday party!

#Ira #Iraisms #BirthdayTales #AdultsComplicateMatters #IraAtFour #TalesAtFour #LittleHumanBeings