Showing posts with label Existential Experiences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Existential Experiences. Show all posts

Friday, June 25, 2021

What do you see?

 


     

When you see patterns in the clouds

When you see colour in the grey

When you see lifelines in the green leaves

When you see meaning in scrambled words

When you see stories on blank pages

When you see aspiration in day dreams

When you see sense in chaos

When you see hope in bleak moments

When you see perfection in the ordinary

When you see resilience in broken smiles

When you see memories in lonely eyes

When you see love in withered flowers

When you see life in the meandering paths


When you see beyond the obvious, you truly see. 


#ExistentialThoughts #LovePoetry #SubjectiveSonnet 

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

"Happy New Year 2020", the Pramadh way



This pic quite sums up 2019 at the Pramadh household. A year filled with gushes of uncertain winds, challenges- big and small that came our way. Moments of perseverance that kept us grounded. This little human being made us believe even more strongly that there is happiness in every little thing- collecting stones, twigs and dispersing seeds alike. We all pushed our boundaries, learnt in leaps and bounds. We discovered new things- the joys of reading for the first time, finding the superhero in us, making a new dish, finding a new way of life. Daily conversations about how our days went with Ira asking us existential questions and then times of crazy, mad laughter. Little holidays, big joys. Grateful for all the precious moments with family and friends- celebrating milestones, random chatters and memories of the years gone by.
As we stood on this hill top after a trek year end, the experience was as exhilarating as the year gone by. The smiles say it all, one step at a time.

Happy New Year 2020 everyone!

#Ira #Iraisms #IraAtFive #TalesAtFive #Happiness #Gratitude #Love #Us #We

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Some experiences nudge us to happiness and this was mine



Sometimes, life throws opportunities at you that you must grab without a second thought. This is exactly what I did in June when the course coordinator for MA Public Policy, MCC called me and asked if I would be able to take the Behavioral Science Course for the MAPP second year students.

Having taught this at IISc in 2015, I was ready to embark on another semester of teaching BS. However, the entire orientation and focus of the course was different from what I had taught earlier. I had earlier taught Management and design students and the concepts were primarily focusing on psychology and management. This time, there was a lot of focus on economic concepts and for me, this was a whole new learning. Prior to each session, I would sit for hours reading papers, books and prepping for the session. And was absolutely thrilled with myself for creating unconventional question paper for them, with some abstract elements. For the uninitiated, academia is so much of hard work and I have immense respect for all my friends who are full time academicians; and for my teachers.

The class composition was what made teaching this course one of my best experiences ever. The students were intelligent, dynamic young women who knew what they were striving for and also why they were pursuing this course .They were from diverse backgrounds of English literature, Journalism, Psychology, Microbiology, Engineering, Public Policy (I hope I haven't missed any!). Each of them brought with them their share of unique experiences and working at the grassroots with different organizations for their internship.

Our classes were filled with experiential anecdotes, some that made us thoughtful and some laugh so hard, that our cheeks would hurt.

I absolutely enjoyed this 'teaching stint' and they will always be a special bunch of girls for me. Today, I not only took my final class with them, but I also invigilated a Psychology Practical exam that brought back tons of memories.

Some experiences nudge us to happiness and this was mine! Wishing the girls best for all their endeavors.

#Happiness #LoveTeaching #BehavioralScience #MyAlmaMater #ExistentialExperiences

Thursday, June 28, 2018

My Big Bindi and Me, a love story



This post is all about loving myself and my big Bindi. As a student, we had an awesome English teacher who wore this big maroon Bindi and carried it off with so much elan. At college, my favorite History professor and one of my Sociology professor also wore big bindis. While I have always loved them, it is only in the last few years that I ventured into wearing them. I always wondered if they would make my already big face seem bigger. Then I told myself, life is too short to worry about big faces . The final inspiration has to be a dear friend who not just wears big bindis but also wears the most colourful big bindis. So, here I am loving my big bindis. Some tell me they make me look very Bong. But I thought my smile and cheeks already did that! Anyways, if you love something do it,wear it, experience it. Life is too small to miss such big moments. #LovingMyself #BigBindiSyndrome #LoveBigBindi #ExistentialExperiences #Happiness

Thursday, January 25, 2018

‘Our’ Superhero is back home!





The ‘Our’ in the title refers to Ira’s and Mine, ofcourse J
My significant other whom I now, more often than not, address as ‘papa’ in even normal between-us conversations! Life does take a turn when a child becomes a part of it. So, Papa has a penchant for adventures and adventures that somehow involve the big ‘H’! yeah…Hospitals. His most recent knee surgery for a meniscus tear this week is just another excuse to tell you about ‘our’ superhero! He never takes OTC medicines even when in crazy pain, meets a doc always for a fever or cough or anything! However, doesn’t ask those questions and so if he does the visit alone, I literally have to nag him to understand what transpired.
His latest hospital stay was different because this time we had Ira in the equation. While she stayed with her Dadu and Dida and they along with Joy helped her get ready and get to school those two days, we like always prepped her for what to expect and what will happen. While the process and instructions may sound robotic, it has helped us so far and so we continue to employ this tool of parenting (ahh…there I said it and made parenting sound oh so cryptic). The surgery was successfully completed and Ira came to see Papa in the evening along with Joy. She wanted to see how the IV works, if she can touch that hand and do ‘tuiiii’, the big bandage that papa got and can she sit on him or be carried by him. She was also thrilled to raise and lower the hospital bed. When he requested her to raise the bed, she lowered it and her logic was, “I have to first put it down and then bring it up!”. She learnt that the next two weeks, his movements will be restricted and that they can’t do the train-run or the horse-run, neither the acrobatics nor jumping around. He got home last evening and they spent this morning doing activities that do not involve movement, including placing little bikes and superheroes near the bandage!


While Papa works his way to recovery, till the bandage and staples are removed two weeks later; Batman, Superman and Hulk have their work cut out, to take care of ‘Our’ Superhero! 

#Papa #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtThree #Gratitude #OurSuperhero


Saturday, January 6, 2018

It is all about me

Very often, we forget ourselves in the cacophony of life. Make this year a little bit more about yourself.






Life gets busy
Life gets mundane
Life gets adventurous
Life gets nasty
Life gets painful

Time flies by
Time stands still

Dreams in our eyes
Fault in our stars
Hope in our hearts
Plans in our mind
Happiness in our being

Take that little step
Learn something new
Finish that TBR list
Walk a little more
Say No, vehemently
Say Yes, in happiness
Work on what you like
Do what you love

Love a little more
Dance a little more
Write a little more
Play a little more
Wander a little more
Wonder a little more
Let it be 'about me' a little more!


The journal in the pic was gifted to me last year by one of my besties and it will be my  favoritest gift ever. It is a five year journal. As I wrote the two lines for 2018, Jan 1st, reading what I had written last year made me so happy. Such an overwhelming feeling, like a memory log! 

So, when you look back to this year the next year, hope you also feel that you have made this year, all about you!

#Life #AboutMe #Metime #Selflove #LoveSelf #ExistentialExperiences #Happy2018

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Because a little girl dreams on




Been meaning to write this post for over a week now! Hoping memory does justice.
I attended the NASSCOM Diversity and Inclusion Summit 2017 on 27th and 28th of Feb,  2017. The discussions ranged on current practices in organizations, what is being done,  changes at policy level,  how change has to be a participative measure and driven from the top.  Here are a few thoughts from across sessions that stayed with me.
Bring your whole self to work
Making people count
Focus on skilling and re-skilling
Understand enablers and disrupters
Do away with the unconscious bias - stop asking, am I good enough
The diversity agenda has to be handled one step at a time
Gender neutral mentoring
Create enabling ecosystem
Support has to be pervasive in nature
D&I part of business strategy
Advocate for change-be a part of the change

I personally love what is written on the satchel, 'Because a little girl dreams on'. Diversity comes in all colours and hue and time we have a sense of pride about being champions of diversity. A journey that must begin at home even as organizations make strides in their initiatives.

#diversity&inclusivity #advocateforchange #lettheconversationsbegin 

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Celebrating love…The distance between this day this year and the next





I dislike roses
I dislike diamonds
I dislike soft toys
I dislike pomp and show

I love love-stories
I love romantic poems
I love books
I love candle light dinners



Today is Valentine’s day.  A day when the world celebrates love and some remember a saint by the same name. A day when some reminisce their unrequited love, some bask in the sunshine of being in love, some find scepticism in every act of love and some live in eternal hope for that ‘one love’ and some are just plain rational about this thing called love. A day when the consumer industry make the most of our hopes, our despairs, our ambitions and our desperations. In our country, this day is also marked by some vandalism and moral policing in the name of culture. Pyaar ki toh aisi ki taisi.

While I agree that we do not need a single day for love, I also believe that every moment needs to be celebrated because life is just so precious. And there are such small ways to celebrate the love. Celebrate the love everyday by respecting the person you are with. Respect his dreams and his ambitions, embrace his shortcomings and his fears, enjoy his quirkiness and his misadventures. If you are in love, cook with your partner. Cooking is one of the beautiful ways to connect. Learn about each other’s preferences in food and make the effort to cook that special dish. Plan little surprises, small love notes tucked away for your partner to find. The glint in the eye and that meaningful smile will take your breath away. Have conversations, the mundane and the intellectual ones. Talk books, talk politics,  talk love,  talk child care... Speak what you are thinking and express what you feel. Share opinions,  agree to disagree,  have vehement debates and emotional outbursts. Have conversations. Do things you both enjoy(ed) doing together- a long drive, dinner at a quaint place, watching a play or just making a tub of popcorn and catching that series on the laptop. Remember the moment when you chose him in a heartbeat and if you took ages, remember those ages. We live such rushed lives that we often forget to be grateful for what is there right in front of us. Count your blessings. Count the love of your partner, your family and your friends because love can conquer everything (says the die hard romantic).

There will be a 14th Feb every year. There will be a rollercoaster ride of emotions every year. Just decide how you want to travel the distance between this day this year and the next.

To love and the beautiful world it creates!
May I say, Happy Love (Valentine’s) Day!

Say it with words,
Say it with silences,
Say it with a song,
Say it with a dance,
Say it with a cake,
Say it with a biryani,
Say it!

Monday, December 5, 2016

For all of you



For all of you nursing a broken heart.
For all of you in pain, in a daze.
For all of you who are lost,  confused,  bitter.
For all of you suffering in health,
Physical or mental.
For all of you trying to break away from the shackles,
For all of you mourning the loss of someone close,
For all of you anticipating the worst.
Hang in there.
Time will hopefully heal.
Scars will remain. Memories will stay.
You will grow but stronger.
You will come out more resilient.
Embrace this moment, embrace the power within.
Life will go on.

#talkaboutwhatisbotheringyou #findthestrength #forallofyou
#microblogging 

Friday, December 2, 2016

The 'First School' for your child - 10 Mantras to help you choose




December is here and with that parenting groups,  mommies groups and school groups are loaded with questions on playschool,  pre-schools, nursery, alternate schools,  montessori method and all discussions pertaining to schooling and school admissions.  It is in some sense a big deal because we need to start the hunt early and if we are choosy,  it makes the hunt even more tedious. While embarking on this search last year, I posted my query on Fb and got some very practical suggestions on how to choose the school. Thank you to everyone who wrote on this thread a year back.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10153215440895796&id=675550795

Prashant left the initial groundwork to me. So, I started the way I know best. Made an excel sheet with details about the schools that is easily available and then another set of details got over the phone. Post that we took appointments and went and met the school authorities and saw the premises.

So,  here are the 10 mantras to help you choose a school.

1. The Methodology Followed
Today there are many options. The traditional playschool/nursery method, the montessori method, the Waldorf method, the Steiner method. Read up,  do your groundwork and decide which method will work for your child and you. Parents today have to complement the teaching technique at school with how they also imbibe those learnings at home.
We visited the IMTC website (http://www.indianmontessoricentre.org/schools-recognized-indian-montessori-centre),  did our research and felt that we would like the montessori method. A lot of schools and famous chains claim to use these methodologies but a shocker was that most of their teachers are not even trained or certified.  A very famous chain of schools we visited, the centre head told us we teach multiple intelligence to the children and follow multiple methodologies. So, when I asked her what she meant, she said, you know we use play technique, stories... You wouldn't understand. Yes,  we were actually told that. I was also aghast to see that the pamphlet said they teach kids existential intelligence, whereby teach them about life and death. When asked,  they said we teach them through play. Seriously, teach a two year old. The chain was off our list immediately. Often they rattle off terminologies and jargon,  and underestimate the preparation a parent may have made. I wish they were a tad bit more sensitive to this aspect.

2. Distance between Home and School
These days our toddlers begin schooling very early.  It helps if the travel involved is not much. For them, it is a whole new routine.  Waking up earlier than usual. Getting ready to go to a new environment and meet new people there. Less distance to travel is one less strain avoided. For some parents,  the deciding component would be the distance from their work place to school,  depending upon their arrangement to drop and pick up their baby. See what works best for you. Look at options both near home and work.

3. The Physical Space
The school should have a natural play space. Good ventilation is also essential. Added benefit if they have a ground or garden, have sand-pits and trees. Lot of schools have artificial play spaces, no trees and boast of indoor gyms. We were finicky about this aspect and many schools were struck off the list on this criteria. A word of caution would be that do not go by their photo gallery on their website  or Facebook. Very deceptive to say the least. Some of them looked like they had long corridors and huge halls but later you realise they are small spaces shot smartly and distance between gate and building is few steps. Lack of ventilation is also a concern in many of these playschools. With almost 20 children crammed in a small space, it seemed nightmarish. The school doesn't have to be fancy, it has to be utility friendly for children. One important point is that they must have children friendly toilets with small pots and low level handwash basins. It is a safety requisite. Some schools also had an overboard of cartoons all over. At one place Ira went to the wall and rattled off names of some of the things she recognised- lion, apple, monkey, tree.  While the parent in you feels triumphant,  it is essential to understand if the sensorial element is too much, seems forced. Some plain walls would be good,  you know. Let the children imagine what can cover those walls.

4. The Teaching and Support staff
As parents, we are fiercely protective when we are sending out our children into this big world. One of the ways to maintain sanity is to talk to teachers and also the support staff and see how comfortable you are. While teachers can have qualifications to show, it is essential that they come across as gentle and disciplined and open to understanding that each child is different. The support staff help the children with their toilet time and snack time and helps to talk to them too.

5. Teacher Student Ratio
This honestly is a luxury. Ideally, 10-12 kids per teacher maximum. But this we will know more by observing the space than by asking, because everyone claims to have a very beneficial ratio. One of the big schools kept telling us every class has a teacher and  a help. On close observation, realised that each class has 35-40 kids.  It was a big premises and close to 120 kids at any point of time with just 4-5 help and about 7-8 teachers.

6. Day care
Some of us may be also looking at the Day care option. In such a case, hygiene of the place, the support staff post the school hours and the timings is an important criteria. We were also open to the idea of day care in some time and so kept this in mind.

7. Audio visual component
Why is audio visual component a point here,  you ask? Well,  most of the schools had TV which they claimed they used for edu-infotainment sessions. This meant they showed things that were educational,  informational and entertaining. Honestly,  we didn't see why a school needs that.  We are outliers in the fact that we don't have a TV at home for years and Ira has only recently been introduced to the concept of YouTube and Rhymes or stories online. Unfortunately, two of the places we visited had chota bheem and some other cartoon running loudly and kids sitting very close to the TV. On probing a bit,  a help told us that they put TV during day care time. Exposure to electronic gadgets and TV is a personal choice that parents make and this while was a criteria for us,  may not be a big deal for many.

8. Food /Snack provisions
Some highend playschool provide a curated meal to the children.  While doing your search,  also see if this is a criteria for you.  We were not particular about this facility. But what we were on the lookout was what type of food or snacks is allowed by the school.  Most schools these days do not allow junk of any kind and prefer home cooked meals. This is surely a good thing we see.

9. How they see your Child?
This while an important criteria,  may be difficult to gauge in a single visit. It is interesting to see that behavior ranges from over friendliness to hard selling. Some places make the effort to let the child be, while guiding them to the play area or an interaction space during the first meet. Also,  some schools make us fill a basic form while others ask a lot of questions about the child,  their preferences,  social interactions etc. While a detailed form may seem a tedious thing to fill,  I surely appreciate the effort taken by the school.

10. Let your Child decide
This is the trickiest point in my opinion. How do we know? What could appeal to a toddler?  You will be surprised at how your child reacts to the environment. You will be taken aback at the first things they go and touch at the school -  could be a pebble in the garden,  a colour set or some wooden blocks. Look for their comfort level, how they are able to move around in that space and how they fit in. How they interact with the adults and the other children. A bit of this is what you see,  and a bit would be your intuition about the place. So,  take a step back with your check list,  your excel sheet with highlighted boxes (yes,  I did that too) and just observe.

**Fees is an important criteria but I am keeping it outside this list. Today,  schools depending on the facilities they provide charge fees that does seem exorbitant. So,  the thing to do is while we are deciding on the school,  also see if we can afford the fees and are comfortable with it. Have clarity on what you are paying and what are your expectations from the school.  Understand why schools with special methodologies or alternate schools charge higher than traditional schools. Do your homework so that you feel that you are getting the value for the money you are spending.

Goodluck to all parents and the little adults who are about to make an entry into a whole new world. 

Friday, September 16, 2016

Suicide -Making sense of the Science & Signs







“She was such a spirited girl and had such leadership qualities. Cannot believe that she committed suicide.” “He was such a talented man and always so happy. Don’t know what drove him to take the extreme step.” These typical reactions show surprise and despair, bringing to the fore the curious case of—why do people who seem so successful commit suicides?



An act of ‘Suicide’ impacts the individual, the family, the community and the world at large. September 10th is celebrated as World Suicide Prevention Day. Across the world, communities are gearing up to organize awareness camps, talks and drives, across schools, colleges and the society at large.



Suicide is globally the second leading cause of death among people in the age range of 15-29 years, reported the World Health Organisation in 2014. In India, the number of suicide deaths in this range is really high – 40% of suicide deaths in men and 56% of suicide deaths in women occurs during this time period, as reported in the 2012 Million Death Study in India. The WHO member countries have come together to put into motion, strategies to work towards suicide prevention in a more proactive manner, with a goal to reduce the incidence of suicides by at least 10% by 2020.



There are various risk factors to suicide. At the individual level, it is important to understand the subtle aspects of the mental health of the person, previous episodes of depression or anxiety; stress, pain related issues or substance abuse; family history of suicide and also family/relation based conflicts, genetic and biological factors. Dr. Dean Burnett, Guardian Science Blogger and Psychiatry tutor at Cardiff University brings to fore two important aspects of financial success and self-criticism. Dr. Burnett says that, “The capitalist and economic emphasis of much of modern society means that people are expected to show worth and acquire value, largely by financial means. The emphasis on this, coupled with the economic restrictions and transfer of wealth to the already wealthy, may well lead to increased despair, depression, futility, feelings of worthlessness etc., all of which can be strong factors in suicide.” He further adds that when people see how much others are achieving and become acutely aware of their own failings and limitations, people feel despondent and self-critical. All these can be factors that lead to suicide.



Prof. Nalini Dwarakanath, Counselling Psychologist & Therapist at the Centre for Counselling & Support, Indian Institute of Science cites various reasons that drive students to suicide in a competitive academic environment. The challenges of competition, the peer pressure, the stress of deadlines and the inability to cope often result in students experiencing low self-esteem and anxiety, coupled with self-doubt. The role of the institute in setting up a support system is vital here.  It is essential to do away with the stigma attached and encourage students to approach the on-campus counselling centre when they experience distress. Orienting new students to the campus culture, challenges of the academic environment and the available support system go a long way in helping those who experience stress and low self-esteem.  She says it is essential to believe that, “Help is available and every issue can be resolved. There is a solution for each and every problem.”



Can the science of suicides be explained in such a simple manner, just delineating the signs? While there are checklists that may help us understand whether a person could be prone to suicides, many a times people do not show any prior symptoms. In such cases, suicides may be impulsive, rather than a meticulously planned action. The recent incident of a Bangalore based theatre person ‘researching’ on ‘ways to die’ for over 48 hours prior to taking the plunge from a multi-storey building once again raised questions as to what can the community do to reach out to such individuals. A compassionate, thoughtful and human approach is essential. In a time and age when we are so engulfed in our own lives, it is essential to know people around us, to know our neighbours, to know ourselves.



How do we prevent suicides in communities? “One obvious method is to be available to people. Don't close others off or dismiss their concerns for reasons which may seem more important at the time. It's when people feel the most hopeless that they can be so vulnerable to suicidal thinking, so providing a space or at least the opportunity to find someone sympathetic to talk to, or even just someone enquiring as to their wellbeing, can be a big help”, says Dr. Dean Burnett.


There are various suicide helplines in India, some of which work 24*7. The SAHAI helpline for suicide prevention and emotional distress, set up in 2002 at the Medico Pastoral Association, Bangalore has now over a decade helped people in distress, through telephonic counselling. Mrs. Latha Jacob, Clinical Manager at the Medico Pastoral Association, talks about the role of suicide helpline in managing depression and preventing suicides.


“In the present societal scenario of need for instant gratification, helplines are useful for anyone who need information urgently or need to communicate distress. The role of suicide prevention helpline is primarily to provide an avenue to a person who is experiencing intense psychological pain to express the fears, anger or grief he/she may be going through”, said Mrs Jacob in an interview. “This also facilitates ventilation of the deep sadness, feeling of helpless emotions that a person with depression may be experiencing. A few pertinent questions will help the counselors at a helpline to identify the features of depression and help the caller to get the help they require.”


While we ponder about lives lost to suicide; let us work together to understand the signs, recognise the call for help, provide support and wash away the associated stigma. This is a battle that the community has to come forward to fight together, because even in their moment of greatest fear and despair, no one is really alone; someone somewhere is in their thoughts.


Suicide Helplines in India

·         SAHAI, Bangalore: 080-25497777

·         The Samaritans Mumbai: 022 3247-3267

·         Aasra Suicide Prevention Centre, Mumbai : 022-27546669

·         Sneha Suicide Helpline, Chennai:  044 - 24640050, 044 – 24640060

·         iCALL (a venture by TISS) : 022-25563291

·         Sumaitri Crisis Intervention Centre, Delhi :011-23389090







P.S: This piece was written a year back with an intention to publish it somewhere. Well, that never happened. So, here it finds a place on my blog. I am thankful to Dr. Dean Burnett, Mrs. Latha Jacob and Prof. Nalini Dwarakanath for their interactions and thoughts. Thank you to Sandhya Sekar who helped with the edits.












Tuesday, August 9, 2016

The other side of 'Me'




Being a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother are all fascinating things. As much as being a son, a brother, a husband and a father is. However, for a woman, being a 'wife of someone' is accorded more importance than being 'who they are', by their own merit.

While growing up, I was often addressed as 'Junior Das'. My brother was not yet born and I looked and almost always behaved like my Baba. It made me grin with pride. But one thing Baba once said remains etched in my mind. He said be known by what you achieve in life and one day, they will say, am Madhurima's baba. It was of course a proud and fierce father speaking. But I have been fortunate to have parents who have taught me to be proud of what I have achieved. Fast forward few years and my little brother turns out to be a young man who always goads me to achieve the best, do my best. He always talks about how there is so much I can do. Fast forward a few more years and my significant other is the 'spouse' who attended both my colloquium and my thesis defence and 'our' labor room moment. Why am I saying all this? Because the men in our lives and their support makes us. However, we need to find our moment in our achievement. And the world needs to appreciate that.

Example 1: I have been in a room of researchers where the men are addressed by Dr.X but at times women by Mrs.Y; and this happens on emails all the time. Example 2: When am at a conference or a meeting, I often get asked, "who is taking care of Ira?". My spouse is on a wfh mode and a participative father, thanks to whom I can attend day long events. But, ever heard a man being asked, who is managing home in his absence. Of course not.

To be defined by what our fathers are or our husbands are; to be the Miss. or the Mrs. is all fine. But when that takes precedence over the individual that we are, is a dangerous one. A precedence defined by culture, tradition, societal expectations. Happens in academia, industry, all over.

The article below cites such examples of sheer irresponsibility. Time we all take notice. Thanks Harini Nagendra for sharing this article on your timeline.

Monday, July 18, 2016

Accidentally yours!



Dear Life,
Monday morning be mundane, be boring, be sluggish! Naah, not for me. Just walking out of the famous malleshwaram orthopaedic clinic. Right ankle ligament tear, thanks to a weird fall on Saturday evening.

Multiple x-rays rules out a fracture ( am I glad or what) and then, a very nice doctor did some bending of the foot and took an x-ray to check for ligament tear! Bingo, there it was. Been advised two weeks of rest and restricted movement and here I had plans for busy social days ahead.

Things will go on, rest shall happen and ligament shall heal. All in good time.

Sprains, tears, miniscule fractures have an affinity towards me. December 2014 saw me being casted in a rohit shetty kind of movie where my auto drove fast near maramma circle, lost balance, rear wheel in air, me out of auto with my left palm on road, being dragged for few seconds...minutes...no idea! Turned out to be a fracture of the thumb and needed a cast for about 6 weeks. I went to the doctor after waiting for a week, because the pain seemed tolerable. But just post the accident, I was unable to gauge the damage and so picked myself up, sat in the auto and went and attended the SHEROES summit 2014 edition. Then by lunch, when the swelling did appear and sense prevailed, I took the cab and got home.



Besides the story that I can tell my future generations, what was a learning was to deal with those 6 weeks believing , All is well! Attended a wedding, some parties, emceed a Gala charity dinner for an NGO that works in the area of education and work continued. The funny thing is when people saw the cast and said, "Bechara, khub betha naa. issshhh... bachcha o choto, khub koshto" ( poor thing, must be painful, baby also small...very troublesome moment). In reply, I said , yes, but will cribbing help me or Ira or Prashant or the world. Ira was about 7 months then but Prashant was completely taking care of her, to ensure I had rest. I only carried her when she insisted.

The bane of being a strong woman ( mental, physical, combi of both... whatever you want to choose) is that we are often required to explain that strength or even show that the strength is a result of some sacrifice crap. But the fact is it is not...I have an allergy to being over dependent or bechari types. I am not perfect, ofcourse there is pain, there is discomfort...but life is too precious to spend time cribbing. And when accidents are part and parcel of life, you may as well take them in your stride.

So, looking forward to the next two weeks. Some interesting meet ups, planning a farewell party, attending some talks! Bring it on I say...One step at a time Ouch...that ligament hurts :)



Accidentally yours,
M
#accidents #life #grateful #crib #existentialtruths

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Happy Women's Day 2015






Happy Women's Day 2015!

Be the woman you want to be.

Be the woman who is brave
Be the woman who is ambitious
Be the woman who is pragmatic
Be the woman who is dynamic
Be the woman you want to be.

Be the woman who embraces challenges
Be the woman who accepts her fears
Be the woman who builds character
Be the woman who empowers women
Be the woman you want to be.

Be the woman who loves life
Be the woman who loves a man/woman like there is no tomorrow
Be the woman who loves her independence
Be the woman who loves herself
Be the woman you want to be.

Be the woman who knows what her heart wants
Be the woman who knows what her mind speaks
Be the woman who knows her strengths
Be the woman who works with her weaknesses
Be the woman you want to be.

Be the woman who celebrates herself
Be the woman who celebrates another woman
Be the woman who celebrates the men in her life
Be the woman who celebrates this world
Be the woman you want to be.

**Dedicated to all the fabulous women I know and the wonderful men who let the woman be what she wants to be:)




Saturday, July 19, 2014

I shall and I will...

Our daughter Ira is 54 days old and this poem is for her.
 
 
I am not scared of you
I shall not cower in fear
I shall not feel ashamed for what you have done
I shall not find reasons for your action
I shall not find random solutions
I shall not feel victimised
I or my daughter are not the problem, you are!
 
I will make every effort possible,
I will be relentless
I will be prepared
I will be brave
 
I will teach Ira to love herself
I will teach her that the world is beautiful
I will teach her that some people make it awful
I will teach her the good and the bad, the touch and the stares
I will teach her to fight
I will teach her to stand-up for herself
I will teach her acceptance
I will teach her to say 'NO'
I will teach her the right to dignity
I will teach her the freedom of expression
I will teach her the essence of being a human!
 
I will teach my daughter everything that can be taught,
But will you learn to first be a human being.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

The 'Absurd' Reality!





Conceptualizing, Planning and thinking of a workshop on 'Work Life Balance' is way easier than convincing organizations to sponsor their women employees for the workshop!

Top regret answers :

1. We do women activities as CSR (Err...'women activities'...)
2. We celebrate womens day and have some speakers come and talk to them, we don't need a workshop
3. We believe in diversity and inclusion, we take them for outbound programs
4. We can't afford to let them go for three days
5. We are not sure we want to spend that much on each employee
6. We have counselors and doctors on campus, they don't need such programs'
7. We have the funding and believe in encouraging them, but would prefer technical programs
8. Would these programs make women 'feministic'? (Really??!!)
9. We have work from home, their work life balance is maintained
10. We HR are attuned to their needs, we are there to take care (From the knowledgeable HR)

**You could rank them in order of absurdness:)

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Happy Teacher's Day 2013!




For the little steps and strides,
For the fumbles and orating styles,

For the math signs and lab combustion,

For the history lessons and geographic stations!


For the classes and the extracurricular,
For the discipline and the fun,
For the dreams and the dares,
For the rational thinking and the obscure creativity!

For the drama and the artsy times,
For the prose and poetic rhymes,
For the being and the living,
For the realizations and the reminiscences!

For the inspiration and the mentoring,
For the advice and the goodwill,

For the friendship and the love!

To every 'teacher' I know!


Happy Teachers Day!



Friday, August 16, 2013

National Holiday for 'Women' Festivals!





A conversation on the bus today between two young women sitting opposite to me. Both were dressed in traditional attire, complete with jewellery and flowers on their head. (The conversation was in Kannada, and here is the almost verbatim translation)

W1: Saree very pretty ya
W2: your necklace is very nice, mother in law gave? your first varamahalakshmi vrata naa?
W1: yes, but what use? no holiday today?
Today is varamahalakshmi; so every 'lakshmi' should get compulsory leave (referring to wives, daughters, daughters in law...all women folk)
W2: agree! all our women ministers keep talking about women issues, they should demand for a national holiday for all women on varamahalakshmi and gowri puja day!
W1: correct correct! Also for Bhimamavasya and shivaratri, because that time all indian women pray for husband prosperity.

Different people, different concerns!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Live Your Dreamt Reality


I may not know what tomorrow holds for me
But I remember how my yesterday was
And I can ensure how my today will be.
 
There will always be people undermining you,
Stand tall to them.
There will always be people doubting your skills,
Kill them with your flair.
There will always be people telling you how to behave,
Smile and do your thing your way.
There will always be people telling you what not to do,
Listen and let the rational you think.
There will always be people telling you you are too dominant,
Give them the ‘leadership’ look.
There will always be people telling you to abide hierarchy,
Tell them you give a ‘mango’
There will always be people telling you you are ‘weird & radical’
Like my friend said, believe you are ‘limited edition’
There will always be people telling you you can’t make a change,
Tell them at least you are trying.
 
Yet there will be people who will know
You have a wild streak and it is fine
You lead by nature and it is fine
You are not so ‘normal’ and it is fine
You are you and it is fine!
 
Live your life thinking of the latter group
The former will always be larger,
More intimidating, more disruptive…
But the power lies in your beliefs,
Your thoughts and your actions.
You are the maker of your destiny,
Carve your niche,
Believe in your endeavours,
Live your dreamt reality!
 
**Dedicated to the friends I know who dare to be different, who inspire me to tread a new path, who are making a difference to this society through their words and actions.
 

Monday, December 31, 2012

मेरी ज़िन्दगी, मुझे हैं जीना।

मैं औरत हूँ,
शक्ति की मूरत,
श्रधा की सूरत।

ना तोको मुझे तुम,
ना रोको मुझे तुम,
मैं ना अबला,
मैं ना दुर्बल,
मैं ना कमज़ोर,
मैं ना बिचारी।
मैं हूँ निर्भय,
मैं हूँ तेज़।

मेरी सीमा, मुझे हैं पता।
मेरी ज़िन्दगी, मुझे हैं जीना।
इन बेड़ियों में ना जकरो मुझे,
इन हैवानियत में ना बांधो मुझे,
आँखें तुम्हारी हैं अशलील ,
ना देखो मुझे।
नज़रें मेरी क्यों  झुखे,
गिरे हो तुम ज़मीन पे।
आक्रोश हैं मुझे,
हैं मुझे शिकायत ;
यह मेरी किस्मत नहीं,
नहीं यह मेरी जन्नत .

लाज हैं अस्त्र मेरा,
ना तुम्हारी सम्पत्ति।
आज़ादी हैं हक मेरा,
ना तुम्हारी सत्ता।


An Ode to the Gen Z

 To my Students- Past, Present and Future                                              These two frames adorn a wall in my home, a constant ...