I think, I feel, I want, I believe

 

I think, I feel, I want, I believe

                              Sipping 'Unknown Pleasure' and often wondering, what do I really want?

Some days we sit still with some thoughts and then they marinate for what seems like ever. This piece of writing is long due. But am glad that this rainy Sunday has rendered itself to some thinking and overcoming the writer’s block.

It was during International Women’s Day (IWD) 2025 that I decided to do this little survey. Every year, there seems to be so much talk about what to do on that day, the offers at malls and restaurants, the token initiatives and then slowly, things die down. It has taken me a while to put the results together. So, I thank my 93 participants for their time and interest and some fascinating answers.

The message that was shared.

Hello Ladies,

Happy International Women's Day 2025. Let us embrace the theme this year- For ALL Women and Girls: Rights, Equality, Empowerment.

At the outset, Thank you so much for your time.

This is a simple survey to understand what you think, feel, want and believe this International Women's Day(IWD). The data will be analysed to write an article. Am not promising path breaking ideas, discoveries or sweeping changes (though I wish I could). However, I do believe that we need to begin and continue (for the ones who already do) to share our thoughts, feelings, needs & wants. And given that this form reaching you is a snowballing sampling technique, I am optimistic that we shall capture diverse ideas.

Look forward to reading your thoughts- https://forms.gle/iiSMfyuFM26jxZ1g7

Lots of Love,

Madhurima

P.S: Could you kindly fill this and also share with more amazing women whom you know.

The Survey and what it showed

I asked them to write a Pseudo name and some of the quirky responses were Queen, Alive, Stressed Girl, Just a Girl <3, Try Stopping Me, Starry Eyed, Beautifully Dancing in the rain, Unreasonably Audacious, balance is my super power. Some chose character names like Arwen Evenstar and Black Panther.

Most of my participants were between 30-44 years of age and I also had some in their 60s. About 10% of them did not care or did not believe in the initiatives on IWD.

When asked, what annoyed them the most about IWD celebrations in Institutions (schools/colleges) and Organizations, the top four answers are

1. The tokenism about it (all about this one date in a year)

2. The misplaced understanding of feminism

3. Competitions like cooking, rangoli and ikebana that reinforce traditional roles and expectations

4. The ideal woman definition (The woman with 10 hands)

One of the participants messaged –“Can we please stop cutting cake for IWD. This is not a birthday”. I couldn’t agree more. We are succumbing to Eat cake and be happy trope.

I also asked what they wished Institutions and Organizations instead did on IWD and all year round. Some of these are already being done by few organizations, but we do see a lack of awareness or intent in many places.

The top answers that emerged here are

1.       Encourage women to prioritise their physical and mental health with organization wide initiatives
2.       Create mentoring and networking opportunities for students and women in early careers
3.       Empathetic policies for women returning to work
4.       Start CSR initiatives that support organizations working for marginalised women
5.       Organise financial literacy programs
 

All of the above can start as small initiatives and convert into policies with the right nudge from leadership. We not only need mentors and coaches, we need allies in the workplace.

       I closed the survey with a question inspired by one of my favourite podcasts (The Seen and the Unseen by Amit Varma). I asked them to share the name of their favourite Venture/ Book/ Film/ Podcast that are women led. The generosity in the sharing made me smile and I had to then categorise them further into Books, Venture/Initiative, Favourite Women Authors, Podcast, Series, Personality/Youtube Channels and Books.

Favourite women authors

 
·        Agatha Christie
·        Jane Austen
·        Attia hussein
·        Chimamanda Adichie
·        Maya Angelou
·        Arundhati Roy
·        Coco Mellors
·        Sudha Murthy
·        Anita Nair for her books which helped me get back to reading, immensely grateful to her
 
 

Books
 
·        Palace of Illusions
·        Thousand splendid suns
·        Anand by Sekhar Kammula
·        Godavari by Sekhar Kammula
·        Women and Power
·        Americanah by Chimamanda Adichie
·        Book duology - Jorasanko and Daughters of Jorasanko by Aruna Chakravarti - focuses on the impact and influence of the women of the Tagore household on the social zeitgeist of their time.
·        The patriarchs - why men came to rule
·        Mahashweta by Sudha Murthy

Venture/Initiatives
 
·        Taxshe
·        This women run bookstore/ cafe that I came across in Cunningham road... It was wonderful seeing a business/ venture thrive that was solely run by women... (I think she means Champaka :))
·        Vilvah, Sugar cosmetics
·        Vanasthree
·        Anaa My Health Nutricare services
·        Women who Code
·        Google WomenTechmakers program
·        California women lead
·        Ashraya Seva Trust , Bengaluru
·        "Sudha murty's- Infosys foundation
·        "
·        Neeta Ambani wearing multiple hats
·        Curly Tales
·        Samvit Sudha
·        Mongabay India
·        Aravani Art Project - Trans-women and CIS-women led art collective, uses art to create safe spaces for the transgender community and advocates for social change through public murals and other creative initiatives.
·        Atheya and Invicta Learning  as it is proudly run by two women

Films
 
·        The Six Triple Eight
·        The Great Indian Kitchen
·        Mona Lisa smile
·        The Help
·        Stepmom
·        English Vinglish
·        Erin Brockovich
·        Saand ki Aankh,
·        Lipstick under my burkha
·        Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara
·        Three Idiots
·        She Said
·        Laapata Ladies
·        Kiragoorina Gayyaligalu (https://youtu.be/qKRdQF-YDR0?si=fP76Dq6A_YiAKxiH)
·        Frances Ha
·        The Anatomy of a Fall.
·        Gejje Pooje (Kannada)
·        Thappad (Hindi)
·        Magalir Mattum (Tamil)
·        Mrs
·        Mirch masala
·        Bottoms
·        Queen
·        Hidden figures
·        Greta Gerwig movies
·        Greta Gerwig's Little Women (both Jo and Amy's monologues!!!), Barbie and Lady Bird.
·        Barbie
·        Legally Blonde
·        Bend it like Beckham

Podcasts
 
·        Where should we begin- Esther Perel
·        The hidden economics of remarkable women  (HERO)
·        The Gal Gala (https://thegalgala.substack.com/)
·        Womaning in India
·        Podcast hosted by Smita Prakash
·        Rotten Mango
·        kkcreate
·        The Swaddle

Series
 
·        The Glory (Korean)
·        Ginny and Georgia
·        Radha Ramana (Telugu series)
·        Fleabag
·        The Crown

Personalities/ Youtube Channels
 
·        Rapid Rashmi
·        Kiran Mazumdar Shaw
·        Kiran Bedi
·        Sridevi
·        Palki Sharma show
·        Women spies of WW2

 

#IWD2025 #WhatWomenWant #WorkplacePolicies #Equity #Conversations

What are you reading today?

 What are you reading today?

A question I often ask in my trainings to my participants, in my academic classes to my students.

Sometimes I get detailed answers on the book they are reading or listening to, the journal papers or some random article they read that morning.

Sometimes there are awkward silences.

Participants tell me they don't have time to read or they just don't read books; reels or viral LinkedIn posts are more entertaining.

I have often heard adults lamenting how kids dont read today and they are always on the gadgets.

Till a few years back, I would quietly judge wondering how can someone not read. But today, I am wiser I think. I try and understand the why but also how can we inculcate the habit of reading.

So, sharing what I tell my participants and students and what I tell the fellow parents, when they ask "How do we begin reading? " Or "How to get the child to read? "

1. Reading is not a competition- each of us read at a pace that works for us. There is no ideal time to finish a book. I do keep a track of how many books I read, what genre, new authors but that is only a personal benchmark.

2. Read anything you can get your hands on- a book, an article- short or long form, a magazine, a pamphlet, news shorts... Even what is written on newspaper packets or the statements on t-shirts.

3. All genres are good- let us stop being snooty about genres. We could have a favourite genre ourselves but let us refrain from imposing. Fiction, Non-fiction, Mystery, Romance, Drama, Magical realism, Translated works, Vernacular literature- all work.

4. If you are not enjoying a book, stop reading it. Don't be a victim of sunk cost fallacy... Time and life are precious. Sometimes some books just don't work for us and it is ok.

5. One is boring, want to read multiple books at the same time- Go-ahead. Over the years, I have realised that I prefer reading multiple books- one physical book and another on the kindle and sometimes all physical books... I usually read different genres simultaneously. That keeps the momentum and the interest.

6. Children mirror us adults, most times. So, if you are a parent who wants the child to read... Then you also reading helps the cause. Sometimes you could read out aloud to them or read along! Make it a family activity.

7. There is no perfect time to read. We can set aside a time everyday but also not be bound by it. I like to read when I have my morning coffee or when am travelling in the cab or when am waiting at the doctors or the bank or even at Ranga Shankara for eg. Once children take to reading, we see that they read everywhere and at all times.

8. Reading is not a tickbox activity or just a hobby. It over years becomes a part of who we are and shapes how we think, feel and act.

So, go ahead.. pick up just any book and read!

#LoveReading #ReadAnytime #ReadAnywhere #BooksIn2025 #IraLovesReading

If you ‘No’se it, you know it

 

I often talk about self concept, self worth and self esteem in my sessions, nudging my participants to focus on self-love and acceptance. However, sometimes, that journey for self takes time, because we are most vulnerable often in the simplest situations. 

Sharing a piece of that vulnerability in the form of poetry!

If you ‘No’se it, you know it

An ode to my nose, my insecurities about its imperfections, a reminder of the judgement and taunts and yet the acceptance, the ‘I truly don’t care’ victory lap, 40 years too late, embracing it with a nose stud. And like Ira rhetorically says, “Can you breathe with your nose? Then it is a perfect nose!”

Hi there!

Ohh too blunt..

Just like a button

Did the gene just stunt

Can you smell the mutton?

Ohh too long

Just like a hook

The unmatched song

Dug deep in a book.

Ohh too fat

Just like a blob

Too much space taken

A weird door knob

Ohh Dear Nose

All those curious eyes

Judgements agnose

Say your good byes!

Hi Dear Nose

Look at you shining

Imperfectly perfect

Smiles you’re winning!

#Acceptance #EmbracingImperfections #LovePoetry #SelfLove