Monday, June 26, 2017

The inconsequential existence




The abuse that women face,  be it emotional, physical or sexual is a multilayer phenomena. This poem is an attempt to delve into the mind of a woman undergoing abuse and has been written as part of the Women's Web blogathon on #ALetterToHer.

The silent glares
Hitting every fibre of my being
The hurtful words
Breaking every spirited moment
The invisible shackles
Binding my dreams
The unsaid rules
Bending every glimmer of hope
The darkness within
Dissolving the person I was

The wisp of air
The frightened quiver
The tear-filled eyes
Hands that shiver
Clammy feet
Uneven heartbeat
Moment of despair
The inconsequential existence

The rules of 'no'
Tying every action to the roots
No place for consent
Quieten the muffled voices
Never treated like a human
An object of disection and persuasion
Even screams found unworthy
Of a lending ear
Time stood still
Clasping frail hands cry in agony
The descending plethora of grey
Wiping out my passive existence

Moment by moment
Action by action
Stare by stare

#ALetterToHer

I have been reading about  Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You  (bit.ly/Meenabk2) and would like to read a copy of it because I feel that it is a story every women must read. Many women around deal with abuse on a daily basis. Some are often not even aware that it is abuse. Abuse is a silent killer,  killing the spirit of women. I hope that this book will also give strength to women who are dealing with abuse. Because, nothing is more powerful than one woman standing up for another and resonating the strength together.



Wednesday, June 21, 2017

So many stories untold

What a day this has been.  Met someone special today at Claytopia , Koramangala (a beautiful Cafe) whose work I have been following for a few years now. She personifies grace and humility and all that you read about her is what you see when you meet her in person. Sunita, just so glad that we met today before you embark on your new journey. And needless to say,  am glad another 'labour of love' from Indian Yards has found a place in our home. Also, it was absolutely fabulous to have met some more amazing women doing wonderful work and making a difference to the lives of people around.

Travelling across town is like an adventure. This meet up was followed by a visit to Sutradhar,  Indiranagar with a few friends to do some shopping for the 'little girl' at home. A historic day indeed. Bought Ira her first ever doll. Also bought a book about a dolphin called Ira.  Met Sujani, my MSc junior, who is an educator at a city school today after 13years. It's always wonderful to have friends who share interests that are varied and yet there is a common connect,  a common thread,  a common tale. An impromptu lunch plan at Sumit and Jyoti 's place, along with Sonali (thanks to whom we made it to Sutradhar today) and Priya,  and some fun adult time chatting about little human beings and all that they do.

I also took the metro today from ulsoor to goraguntepalya, with a change at majestic. Got my first metro card,  took that feel good selfie and got home in flat 37 minutes, travelling across town.
Prashant had a busy work day and Ira was picked up from school by her Dadu. While I wait to hear from them about their day,  I can't wait to tell and show them how my day was. I also can't wait to see how Ira reacts to her doll.
It was a day of inspiration and reflection,  a day of blissful Happy moments!
#friendsmeet #womenwhoinspire #books #firstdollforIra #Iraisms #Ira #adolphinnamedIra #TalesAtThree


Sunday, June 18, 2017

Tale of two little girls, this Father's day




My Baba strongest, is all I know
Be it rain, storm or uncertainty galore
The line inspires lifelong for sure
*****************************************
You are the best dad in the whole world
Says Ira with sunshine innocence
The magic lifeline for daughter diaries
*****************************************
We are their 'little girls'
Happy and Proud like the spring blossom
Stories etched in hearts forever
*****************************************
#Baba #Papa #Father'sDay2017 #TalesatThree #microblogging  #happiness #bliss #gratitude




Monday, June 12, 2017

Keeping ‘Little Human Beings’ busy…the Ira way




March 24th to June 7th, 2017 will always be a historic summer for us. Ira’s first summer holidays. As parents, this phase involves a multitude of emotions.

Some thoughts that bring relief- Mornings may be a little less rushed next few weeks, no pondering what to pack for the multiple little boxes, how to keep cold and fever at bay for your little one when every other kid has a runny nose or a stuffy nose, a cough or a sneeze or just that irritating bug.

The primary summer concern- How to keep the active, excited, non-stop chattering little human being occupied for the next 75 days! I like to make plans, make lists and strategize. We do believe in unstructured play but I did vehemently plan play dates. We wanted her to do her own thing but we also wanted her to be a part of the summer camps and experience something new. Ira is an early riser and we did hope that she sleeps in longer during these days.



Summer Camp and Party Time

This decision was very easy and yet, a bit hard. While listening to moms talking about how this is a real break, kids must just play at home or visit family or do nothing, a part of me began tripping on the guilt path. I am currently a freelance consultant, working primarily from home. However, the busy days can be real hard. I knew the summer camp choice was for two reasons- 1. We get those few hours to work while she is at the camp 2. Summer camp promises to be a fun learning experience for her. P and I decided to send her for all of them. The themes were sea creatures, space and earth. She absolutely loved the first one. We conclude going by the loot of things she brought home on the last day of the camp, post the party and excitedly showed us. Otherwise, every day when we asked what she did, a stoic silence or nothing was the reply. The second one she attended the first day before coming down with a nasty bug that lasted over a week. She did return to the third camp all smiles and learnt about earth.

Learnings:

·         Ira had fun

·         She learnt a lot of new things. She learnt about submarines, lighthouse, germination, earth and more

·         She made new friends

·         She finally took to the water play

·         She was excited every morning to go to the camp, most excited about the party day

·         It was a decision well taken

·         Happiness guaranteed when you listen to your little one constantly sing, “Big blue whale, big blue whale…s(w)imming in the water…”




Chores and Activities galore

Ira quite likes the outdoors. She loves the parks and play areas. This summer, she also got a pretty good hang of her balance bike and now all our friends who visit are shown her biking skills. While we did some crafts activities, did vegetable painting, finger painting, block prints, glue and paper activities, these would last for a few minutes to maximum half an hour. However, they often set the momentum for the day and the excitement to show her papa what she did that day when he came home from work. Ira ofcourse took on the task of sweeping and swobbing every other day, post Usha  (our house help) finishing her work. She helped us cut veggies (under parental guidance only) and even stirred the alu bhaja in the kadai. The idea is to make the chores fun and ensure the activities don’t seem like chores. We have always spoken to Ira like she is an adult and we followed the same dictum with getting her involved in the activities. So, she sprayed water on the car and cleaned the surface, we used the veggies she cut and we also ate the veggies she stirred on the kadai. Activities give them a sense of independence and is a great source of encouragement. While some days are creative and some days, we just sat and watched a movie. Even mamma feeling lazy had its perks.

Learnings:

·         Kids like to be involved in home chores

·         Chores to be carried out under parental guidance only

·         Mix and Match the activities- building blocks, painting and craft, car washing. Assured of happy times.

·         What works today may not work tomorrow, to keep them occupied. Kids are smart, can think of a thousand things to do. Eg. Watering a concrete wall, cleaning the jhaadu strands. The list is endless.









Experiment is thy Name

1.       Can I slackline on the window?

2.       Can I make carrot soup(imaginary) for you?

3.       Can I take one photo in your phone?

4.       Can I work on my small lappot (laptop)?

5.       Can I go down by myself in the lift?

Pretend play, Unstructured play and no play becomes the norm some days. Replicating our conversations with either Bonnie or Leo or Snowy, while is entertaining for us, is serious business for Ira. We once in a while gave her the phone to take that one pic. The result would be burst shorts, gallery full of pics and a happy little human being. While we are quite strict about electronics and gadget usage, we gave her with limited time and some ground rules. She of course plays a surfer game and makes cakes in the pebble bay with elan now.

Learnings:

·         Sometimes let the child be and discover all the things they can be- astronaut, dinosaur, doctor, teacher, dancer, story teller, chef, photographer, movie buff.




We love People

Summer holidays also meant she spent ample time with her Dadu-Dida and Joy, her Ajji and also her Mashidida, Meshodadu and Rony. While she went shopping with them, bought veggies and her favorite fruits, she also demanded that elusive lollypop. Grandparents are a child’s best friend because they never say No! While Ira discovered how to make their world turn around her, we realised how with her, they rediscover the child within. We also planned some play dates and met a lot of babies (says Ira). Having friends over and busy weekends drove home the point again that today as most of us live in nuclear setups, children naturally crave for people around them. Like P often jokes that she must be at times bored of just seeing us.

Learnings:

·         Play dates meant chaos, fun and ‘learning to share toys’.

·         Play dates are a great way for the mommies and daddies to get to know the other mommies and daddies

·         Being and introduced as Ira’s mom or Ira’s dad becomes the norm

·         Summer break is a boon for the grandparents

·         The little human beings absorb all the love around, it can never be enough

·         Learning to express love though a hug or a peck is a big step for their little feet




On the last day of her holiday, while playing with kinder blocks, Ira made a car in which she was going to school and mamma was saying bye. The eyes moisten at this moment because you realise that your baby is now a ‘little girl’. Please note that now Ira likes to be referred to as a little girl as she feels she is no more a baby. What seemed like so many days, are now gone past and we are left with memories of her first summer break to recount, write and talk about. Summer holiday also seems like a growth spurt time, literally. The kids seem taller and there is a tremendous increase in vocabulary. Must be the summer sunshine effect. Like Ira would say, “First of all guys, that’s my logic”.

Rima, you are deeply loved

                                                  Rima at Infinitea, Bengaluru Dearest Rima, I wish I wasn’t writing this letter to you. B...