M trails...Only person who knows is you!

There are days when you stare at the computer screen and that is all you do. BLANK. SPACE. PERIOD. ....MORE BLANK...MORE SPACE...

Then there are days when mental diarrhoea converts to those long articles where you pour out your heart, soul, blood and sweaty tired fingers ( esp if after years of being a researcher you still type awkwardly like I do).

Then somewhere in between come days with semblance of mediocrity, normalcy when how you use the words, how your sentences wind up do not matter, what matters is that you have something to say and you have your blog space to say it. Your little corner of comfort, your haven; that little girl-diary, you want no one to read and yet you want the world to know exactly what you are thinking.

My thought today, "No one can tell you how much you can think, how much you can do and how much you can feel...the only person who knows is you!".

Reviving my 'Mind Trails' series of blog-posts, that will now imbibe the spirit of a micro-blog (hopefully) and keep my 'mad' moments going.

...a cauldron of burning thoughts

One of those mornings when you sit in the crowded bus; wind blowing in your face thanks to the blessed window seat and a myriad of ideas; the desire to do something, the need to make a difference...call it a reflective, introspective morning but a morning that leaves you energised with a cauldron of burning thoughts!

A cauldron of burning thoughts

Mayéd Inspiration

They make me feel special on days, odd and even

The day for Women is today...

celebrations, moments of accolade;

tales of courage narrated,

ideal women awards given,

the perfect idol is enumerated,

every little success of hers is celebrated,

all setbacks are spoken of as stepping stones.

The celebrity lot talk of the underprivledged,

violence becomes a topic of concern.

Women guest editors, woman columnists,

they all have an extra say.

For today officially is our day.

But i feel this is an overhaul

The lines too sweet,

a forced celebration for some.

I have a humble thing to say

let us feel special about ourselves,

not just today, but everyday.

I take this moment, to tell the tale

of the three wonderful men

who make me feel special on days, odd and even!

Baba

He has been my idol ever since I remember,

I wanted to be everything he is...

his temperament, his commitment

his ideals, his principles...

have all marked my path...

he let me be me...

from being called junior Das to now

has been a journey so 'wow'..

I owe it to him,

for letting me live my every dream.

Bhai

He is the one

who made sure i had a lot of fun...

always listens to me, yes he does

we fight, we crib, we love to make fuss...

but brother to friend is the transition he took;

beside me, i find him,whenever I look.

To me, he shall remain..

my little brother for ever...

love his possessiveness,

to him, I can never say never...

Sneher

He is my 'anti-me'..

over chai and chat, discovered the 'we',

he spoils me with all might,

makes every worry i carry seem so light.

He lives with my 'to do lists' and my 'remember that?' tales

Loves me with my kirriks,

Renders some amazing culinary tricks:)

He listens, never judges...

lets me take my own flight...

He is the silent wind beneath my wings.

Happy 'whatever' day!

Impressions are made irrespective of gender! Histories are made irrespective of 'him' or 'her'!

Often branded a feminist,
I wonder what is wrong in being aware of my rights.
Often asked to keep quiet,
I wonder what is wrong in speaking my mind.
Often told i don't know enough,
I wonder what is wrong in wanting to know more.
Often accused of being dominating,
I wonder what is wrong in knowing what you want.
Often labeled as not being strong,
I wonder what is wrong in tackling a moment with tears.
Often pushed aside in decisions,
I wonder what is wrong in questioning the norm.
Often blamed for being not good enough,
I wonder what is wrong in not being so normal.
Often not wanted in this world,
I wonder what in wrong in being born as me!

Often told by the world we don't belong here,
I wonder what is wrong in believing that we can change that world!

The girl child needs no day to believe it is her life, her world, her existence!
Happy 'whatever' day!

A Death of Apathy

I am Angry
I am Hurt
I am Furious
I am Disappointed
I am Shocked
I am Disgusted.
I am Enraged

I want to Act against this hooliganism.
I want to Hear their silly explanations.
I want to Fire the men who hold the throne.
I want to Disagree with their claims of moral fibre.
I want to Seethe in thought so that the reaction remains.
I want to Do what I can.
I want to Empathise with the ones victimised.

I will not let this happen to us.
I will not bear in silence this annihilation.
I will not be a mute spectator to these power games.
I will not let a stranger decide my life.
I will not blame the system but be the change.
I will not cower in fear but stand in strength.
I will not let 'his'story repeat itself!!!

Some incidents bring out a furor of emotions and a plethora of actions, gets the media into a frenzy and remotes stand still!
Does the nation awaken? Do people in reality become more sensitive? Are the dharnas and protests a momentary solace? Will the political party in government be politically right? Will the opposition use this to garner votes? Will the men view their rights differently? Will the constitution re-write fundamental rights in a gender bender manner? Will the roadside hawker stop selling chai to these goons? Will places of religious importance shut their doors on the miscreants? Will the fanatic fools finally leave us alone? Will actions like this ever face recession? Can society give the 'pink slip' to these self proclaimed moral police?Will the panel discussions stop generating news and ensure justice? Can the IPC undo the trauma of the young minds? Will the 'I am safe' and 'this cannot happen to me' mode young women come out of their slumber? Can someone answer these unanswered questions??? Or will this like many unanswereed questions die a death of apathy?

Conversations are like this only!!!

This is only possible with a conversation!
A friend of mine posted on his blog a quote by Sade(Remember sadism)...In response to it, my comment was way more wordy than the piece...no wonder, conversations are like this only!!

The Quote:

"Conversations ,like some part of the anatomy,run smoothly with the help of some lubrication"- Marquis De Sade

My Comment::

Conversations are like a spring, we human beings like it warm!
Conversations are like the river banks, we want them to hold our attention!
Conversations are like the meandering path, we step on the stones and move on!
Conversations are like garden hedges, we get a peep of what lies beyond!
Conversations are like the mountain cliffs, we want to scale to the optimum!
Conversations are like the reality we want to see, we mould them the way we want it to be!

Bless my soul! My life is a simple story!

"I will not give them any glory,
when they do not deserve it."
Says a bespectacled researcher
with anger and fury.
Years of work, beads of sweat,
toiling hard, success he met!
At the top of the ladder stands he today.
Looks down upon us mortals,
We sadly have nothing to say.
Does success wear blinkers?
accolades lose their sight in shimmer?
Degrees gathered, but humility lost.
In this competitive world, we pay this cost.
Do i want to be where he is today?
Learn to be learned.
Yet unlearn to be modest.
I thought i want to be the best.
A subjective parameter leaves my mind unrest.
I want to be at peace with myself.
Live my life uncomplicated...
Why judge who deserves what glory?
Bless my soul! My life is a simple story!

Thoughts on A Wednesday!

I believe in God,
Not chosen by color, form and name.

I believe in Humanity,
Not driven by scriptures, hymns and rituals.

I believe in Faith,
Not marked by vermillion, veil and jewellery.

I believe in The Common Man,
Not segregated by region, language and status,
Not shadowed by fear, complex and subjugation,
Not overpowered by greed, lust and envy,
Not diluted by the tangible, explicit and materialistic,
Not ruined by self, community and country,
Not destroyed by intelligence, education and experience!

I believe in any day...
but these are thoughts on A Wednesday!

The...

The fallen leaf...
The dripping dew...
The wet mud...
The tiny footprints...
The sepia images...
The forgotten pebble...
The clear sky dreams...
The lethargic moods...
The page of poetry...
The matka chai...
The garam samosas...
The passionate love...
The warm cuddles...
The silent sleep...
The rainy day!

बदलता सबकुछ था...

बदलता आसमान था...
खुली ख्वाबो की चादर,
पंछियों की पंक्ति में,
सूरज के किरणों ने रास्ता दिखाया,
बादलों ने राह बना दी,
हवा ने बिखेर दी सुगंध,
क्या समा था यह सुहाना...
बदलता आसमान था.

बदलती ज़िन्दगी थी...
चाहतों का भरमार था,
किस मोड़ पे रुक जाए,
कदमो को अपने आहात का ना एहसास था,
बस मोहब्बत का तजुर्बा था,
स्याही ने कागज़ पर बस आशियाना बनाया था,
क्या खिलखिलाती थी वोह रवानी...
बदलती ज़िन्दगी थी.

बदलती दुनिया थी...
हर किसी को अपनी ही खोज,
नज़र ना आता डूबता सूरज,
अनदेखा करते दुखो की साजिश,
इंसानियत को ढके बस मंजिल को बढ़ना,
और ऊँचा हैं जाना, और ऊँचा हैं जाना,
क्या दिखे ना अपनी मात दर्दनाक?
बदलती दुनिया थी.

बदलता आसमान था...
बदलती ज़िन्दगी थी...
बदलती दुनिया थी...
बदलाव में ठहराव की अपेक्षा,
बदलाव में कशमकश की सच्चाई,
बदलाव में गुज़रता पल,
बदलाव में ढलती साँसे,
बदलता सबकुछ था...

The stars descended on earth …and I shifted my gaze!!

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A status message that adorned my chat window for weeks now found a new meaning.
This was a story that unfolded like a painting on canvas; the blob of red, the dash of yellow…the smearing orange…the pain, the confusion, the happiness! The endearing blue sky and the green waters…the fine strokes of black and tinges of white….the realisation, the acceptance, the hard truth! This was hope on celluloid and I am not talking about the movie making technicalities.
I have been fortunate to work with and for children, who are differently-abled, who make the world special by just the way they are; who make you want to count your blessings and who inspire you to believe that when you yearn for your dream, it is not too far from reality.
Let Abraham Maslows’ words on the need for love and belongingness be thrown into oblivion; let us brush away Carl Rogers’ thoughts on acceptance and positive strokes; let us walk out of the mould of expectations and presumptions……
Let us accept ‘Ishaan’ for his uniqueness!! No book, no solemn writing can teach us that; only we can teach ourselves!
Not always does a tale merit your tear, but this was one that made me weep copiously!
And made me believe every moment that …Each child is special!
The stars descended on earth …and I shifted my gaze!!

It is here to stay…

It is sugar coated and yet not diabetic! It is tempered with the right pinch of salt and squeeze of lemon! The spice is also there to entice. It is flavoured and aromatic and highly appetising! It enthrals you and makes you happy that you too experience it; if you have not…it tells you what you are missing! It tells you, longing for someone has never been sweeter, not bound by any convention or barrier. It is pure and ethereal, yet about ‘you want to do it here?!” It is not about music shows or museum rows…it is still about long pretty walks hand in hand, it is about wanting to see the ‘stamina’ and the power of a pillar to fulfil your deep wish. It is about the nick names that personify your existence for each other, who cares that it is ‘ghas phus’ and ‘tangri kabab’! It is about serenading and it entails style. It is not everyone’s cup of coffee, yet you want to believe you too can do it!

I could write a menu serving on it! And who is it that I am talking about…?
This is not a movie review!! Am a self confessed movie buff but I leave the critique-ing to the more knowledgeable.

But I encore the core essence of the movie in question…

I am talking of ‘Romance’, the dream that we all love to dream; the hope that we all love to hope; the existence we all love to live!

There will never be adios to Romance…it is here to stay!!

It is a 'Corner'...

It is a corner that redefines my life.
It is a corner that infuses fresh blood in me.
It is a corner that inspires my grey cells.
It is a corner that transforms my mundane world into an existential one.
It is a corner that makes me believe i have my own world.
It is a corner that progresses beyond geometric boundaries.
It is a corner that lays the foundation of sweet-nothings.
It is a corner that witnesses emotions unfold.
It is a corner that gives me my identity abound.
It is a 'Corner' in Coffee Day I found!!

The above piece is an Ode to CCD and the zillion coffee drinkers who come on their own over a cup of coffee! Inspired by a young man named Sandeep Kumar who over his coffee exhibited a gamut of emotions. Strange how strangers can inspire you...

I want to paint the town yellow...

I want to paint the town yellow,
In hues that's both bright and mellow.

All things beautiful are yellow in colour.
This is no frivolous assumption,
Just a focused observation.

The rays of the sun breaking the path of the clouds...
The sunflowers swaying in the wind...
The mustard fields my eyes bound...
The colour of friendship in my mind...
The road milestones that i found...
The top of an auto in the traffic signal i find...
The old taxis that from top look round...
The colour of turmeric on the new brides' cheeks...

It is a colour of happiness, of hope, of aspirations, of dreams, of expectations, of existance and pure motivation...

Yes, I want to paint the town yellow!

The Incomplete Silhouette

The dim glow of the lights…
The light chanting of the mantras…
Music that transformed my senses to different heights.

I could feel it in my senses,
Every fibre of my being knew its essence.
The beats of the tabla played the welcome song,
The trinkets in my feet found their steps abound.
I could see my image in the mirror,
The silhouette of the dancer, with no error.

I reached out to touch this reality…
To my dismay, realized it was just a dream with clarity.
Hopes shattered…found the glass pieces at my feet;
A broken image of the dancer my eyes did meet.

A tear spent, moments lent…
An unrealized dream,
A thirsty stream.
The lights went dim,
A silent hymn,
An unsaid prayer,
A void to stay here….