Mamma and Ira and all things 'M'

Guess where Ira and Mamma went today?!

This was the first time that I took Ira to Mounts and I experienced an unexplained happiness, just to see her do some of the things I did 20 years back. 

She sat on the steps of the porch and walked down the drive. She jumped on the BBC stairs and asked me where my students were.

I wish Canteen chechi was still there and I could have got her the famous sugar donuts! And ofcourse walked by the famous Ditch. 

The added bonus was an auto ride to meet a friend post that. Our little girl had a happy morning and Mamma is the one who is smiling ear to ear.

#SmallThingsBigHappiness #IraAndMamma #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Memories #Happiness #AlmaMater 

The mother I strive to be and yeah, Happy Mother's Day

Being Mamma to Ira has been my biggest learning curve. I am learning every day,every moment. Learning to embrace being a mother. Yes, still saying that after almost 5 years and there is no exaggeration to it. Nothing can teach you to be a parent, no amount of reading ,gyaan or observation. It is a journey. You stumble, you grapple, you since, you smile, you try, you do, you make it happen.You learn on the way. Ofcourse, the books, the people, the experiences help...but only so much. Learning to take judgements in my stride, to ignore them with a brave face and do what I think is right for my child.

Many claim to have the mommy gene, I was never too sure. I was scared, scared that I wouldn't be able to do justice to this role, scared that I have to be a standing example for so many things for a little human being, scared that I may not be as patient as I want to be, scared that I may not be able to do everything that I want to,scared whether I will be ever be able to become the best version of myself for my little one.

But as a very dear friend said this morning, "We all do our best and we are wonderfully different. You are the best mom for Ira. It is all that matters". We mothers need to cut ourselves some slack, calm the flowers down and enjoy being a mother. Our world, our child, our mothering, our way!

Having said that, there are some thoughts about the mother that I strive to be...

I will always be there to listen. Listen to your thoughts, your dreams...even if they seem impossible and daunting. You must know that I have your back always.

I will always walk the path with you. I will work hard to ensure I never say, "I told you so". Because we take decisions in a moment when they seem the right one for that moment. I see you making little decisions on what to eat, what to read, what to wear and what to play and my heart swells with pride; because they are your own decisions and you are able to articulate them.

I will ensure you feel that you have the freedom to be what you want to be, love whom you want to love, do what you want to do. I will be there as the wind beneath your wings, but the flight of choice will be yours. Recently you chose to wear one clog from each pair to ensure you had hulk and iron man at the same time. It may have seemed illogical to many, but for us it was about your imaginative mind and giving you the freedom to be.

I will never say 'No' without giving you a valid, justified, reason for my no. You may choose to disagree and I will respect that. There will never be ambiguity to what am thinking. I will speak what is on my mind. It may hurt us at that moment but you will know that you don't have to ever wonder if am speaking my mind. I will be honest with you because I would like you to be honest with me. We see you using logic and negotiating for every small thing and we hope you retain this rationalist streak.

I will stand true to my deepest beliefs and principles. My beliefs in feminism or my stand against casteism for example. I will walk the talk because not only do I know that you are watching me but because I know I want to set a precedent for you to develop your beliefs and principles, through your own experiences.

I will never ever compare you to another child, because that is the worst thing I can do to you and to myself. You are unique and special, the way you are and I will always love you, no matter what.

I will fight tooth and nail for you. I will not fight your battles for you because I think you will be capable enough to fight them. But I will fight every person, every norm, every belief , every custom, every judgement that will shackle your thoughts, bind your dreams and ever dare to tell you, "You are not good enough" , "you don't know", "You didn't do this right"!

You must know and you must believe that I will strive to be the mother that my little girl needs, my little human being deserves.

This morning, Ira heard me wish Ma and then wished me. She just came and hugged and kissed me. What can be more precious than that.Ira and P make me believe am an awesome mom! I have my good days and my difficult days but then we strive together to make parenting an invaluable experience. We learn from eachother, we work on our mistakes, we strive to be patient, to be perseverent, we inspire eachother to be the best version of ourselves as parents and as human beings; and we accept and love all the quirkyness that parenting entails.

So, to a happy mother's day! To loving ourselves and being the best version of ourselves for our little ones.<3 nbsp="" p="">
#HappyMothersDay2019 #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Parenting #Gratitude #Happiness #Learning #LovingOurselves #LittleHumanBeings

Think like 'Little Human Beings'. Simple!

There are many situations in life, which may seem embarassing to an adult but is perfectly fine from the perspective of a child. While it rains cats and dogs this Sunday evening, I narrate a situation I faced in the last few hours.

It was the birthday of one of the kids in the apartment. Ira was told about it and the impending birthday invite. She waited but the invite never came. We like being prepared, so I had bought a gift and kept in case she gets invited.

All good till here. But the card never came. So, I wasn't sure if Ira must go. Her other friends said she should go along with them. The mom of another friend told me, "kids just come to birthday parties and it is fine. The birthday song is like a cue. You must send her". I was still grappling with the fact whether this would be appropriate to go uninvited.

While all this ensued, Ira wept like a little human being can when they feel hurt. I always feel that Prashant somehow has a magic wand and handles these situations better. I pinged him in between a concert that he is attending and he shared his opinion.

Suddenly this seemed more complicated than anything I had ever done before. Yes yes...that's the mamma in me speaking, in an exaggerated manner.

I even pinged a dear friend who always has the most sensible solutions to such social dynamics and she as always gave me a balanced opinion. Thank you C.

So, what did I do? I accompanied Ira to the party to drop her off, along with her friends. I wished the little one and told herMamma, "Ok. This is embarassing but my daughter has self invited herself to the party". Ira stood there with the gift and keenly looking. The lady very graciously said, "ofcourse not. I had given two cards for her and another child but my little one seems to have misplaced them!". Then I saw many kids attending, many of whom hadn't got the card and were absolutely fine with it.

The adult in me heaved a sigh of relief and the mother in me thought, "we must think more like children, simple and straightforward".

Am not sure if this reaction was appropriate, was it gentle parenting , was it child led, is this how it is done, is there ever a perfect way to handle complicated (or so it seems) situations like this?

All I know is, I went with my gut today for my little girl and it all turned out to be fine. She walked in proudly holding the gift bag and smiling ear to ear. As I hear the pitter patter of the rains, I know many a little hearts are doing a happy dance at that birthday party!

#Ira #Iraisms #BirthdayTales #AdultsComplicateMatters #IraAtFour #TalesAtFour #LittleHumanBeings

Creating 'Voting Day' Memories, the Ira way

"Mamma, what is voting?"

Voting is when you choose a leader who will take care of you and your country.

She did inky pinky ponky and solemnly declared,

"Then You and Papa are my leader"

Today was voting in Ooru. The excitement of standing in that queue, casting your vote, getting inked is always accompanied by a very strong emotion.

Ira accompanied me to the polling booth today and while I casted my vote, she sat and drew and coloured. She chatted with Ms. Pushpalatha and also coloured the Rangoli police aunty drew. The parent in me beamed with pride and Joy was like, "This is universal mother emotion".

Everyyear Baba ensures he has collected our voting slips and as I stood in line, he was there with me. Post voting,a selfie with Baba and Joy happened!

And once we were home, Ira also wanted the vote ink and drew it herself using a sketchpen! As we wait with hope for the results to come, we also hope that our little human beings who today seem so excited with that sketch pen ink keep that enthusiasm as adults and be responsible citizens and cast their votes in the future.

To creating 'Voting Day' memories, the Ira way.

#IVoted #GeneralElections2019 #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #VotingConversations #Leader #LittleHumanBeings #Memories

Ira's first pets

                   This is how HAPPINESS looks!

Ira just got her first pets! And the 'Pramadh' household is now buzzing with conversations with Goldie, Sunshine, Spark and Glitter!

"I am here, see"

"Ok. Good afternoon Goldie, Sunshine, Spark and Glitter".

"I am going to play. See you in sometime. Bye"


Ira has been sitting next to them and just smiling and chatting away. Ira completed her first summer camp on Animal Kingdom at JH today and got a small fish, whom she named Goldie. Papa promptly took her to a pet shop and got her a fish bowl and three more friends for Goldie. Mamma and Ira then decided on the names for them.

         Summer Camp 1 and Ira has her first pet

Ira and Papa have the cleaning and feeding duties sorted between them. Mamma is an observer soaking in all the happiness from her little human being.

Ira is now hopeful that someday she will also have the 'pet' that has been her ask for a few years now. We do live in hope! And Papa and Ira will someday have their wish granted.

For now, all I can say is:
"Goldie, Sunshine, Spark and Glitter...welcome to the Pramadh household".

   

#Ira #Iraisms #IraAtFour #TalesAtFour #Conversations #IrasFirstPets

Year three! Gratitude to thee

                              Happy Holidays

March 26th 2019 marked the final day of Montessori Three for Ira. This year's gratitude list , keeping to the 'Pramadh' tradition.

Montessori three has been about Ira learning a lot of things academically- math, new languages, a sudden explosion into writing. There has been a greater exploration of activities, paintings that were blobs of paint initially have now taken imaginative forms. There are blades of grass and imaginative animals and monsters. At a social and interpersonal level, the choice to assert herself, the ability to react to situations, talking non-stop when she is in her comfort space and exercising the right to silence when she wants to. Year three has been a year of cumulative experiences in some sense. She has surprised us with some things that she suddenly says, the constant 5W and 1H keep us on our toes, the references to memories and how we store them intrigue us every moment. How does a little human being take in so much, perceive so much, express so much? It is just mind boggling at times.

This year the gratitude list will be about things she says and does and the way she expresses them, the Ira way. A lot of learnings, some simple and some complex.


1. A simple thought
This line of her just had to be the first point. One evening when we were sitting together and doing some reading and she was scribbling on paper, she said "When you love someone, you shld be respectable to them". We have had a lot of conversations on love. Some even on marriage thanks to some of the animated movies when the lead characters get married or are in love. We were both taken aback a bit by this line and then our hearts swelled with pride. And we told her what she said was right, respect the person you love. Simple, isn't it?

2. When Mamma Papa become dictionaries on the go.
Ira listen to stories when we drive and has some eternal favorites. While listening to these stories, she has not only memorised some lines but also discovered new words. She immediately asks us what that means and we have to give her an explanation. At times, she is convinced with the explanation and at times, she wants more examples. Some sample words are Exploration, struck, dejected. Mind you, when the examples include a narration with her as the protagonist, it is more impactful :)

3.Learning the vernacular
We have often been asked about which language is given preference at home. While we both wanted her to learn the vernaculars, we had decided that it had to be organic and not a forced thing. We converse primarily in English at home and that obviously was the first language she picked up. While she is fairly articulate in English, it is this year that she has exhibited a deep interest in learning the vernaculars. So, she states a line in English and then ask, "Mamma, what do you say for this in Bangla?" or "Papa, how do you say this in Kannada?". So, we have some days when she is vernacular happy and so 'sari' and 'theek aache' happens in the same breath.

4. Family, friendships and all fabulous things about them.
She has begun marking clear roles and involvement of family members. She tells people that she has three grandmothers (Dida, Mashidida and Ajji) and two grandfathers( Dadu and Meshodadu). She ofcourse loves the indulgent moments with them. Be it chatting, shopping and playing with her Mamas (Joy and Rony) or sending video messages to her chikkapa (Gundu), she has it all sorted.
She is also more vocal about who her friends are and yes, they have groups already. She has discovered the world of 'Too with you' and how to negotiate with that. Understanding that friendships matter, in her own little way. Making cards that tell her friends- you are a star, with a star sticker or making bookmarks for them. She loves her play dates and even plans them by herself and then Mamma or Papa are told, "We have to meet this friend today at Sankey tank" :).

5.Boroline is the obvious solution
Boroline is the solution to all the scratches, cuts and even the mosquito bites. It is the best for even chapped lips. She can get upset if there is no boroline to solve a problem. She definitely shares this quality with mamma, the love for boroline eternally.

6. The journey between feeling and expressing
When little human beings realise that they feel sad, scared, confused, loved and are able to express it; it is heart melting. Like one day she was sad because someone refused to play with her, when she is scared just before her flu shot, when she is confused why someone says something. She is vocal about it and also wants us to be vocal about it. She tells us when she is upset with us. This morning during bath, she told P, "Papa, you are my precious". Feel it, express it. No two ways about it.

7. Taking care of the world around. Reduce reuse recycle.
We bought her one of those activity kits that you get out of pure curiosity and then figured that not just she, we also love doing the little activities with her. One such activity she learned about caring for the world and the 3R. Ever since, they have become a part of our daily conversations. Ira has her own bamboo brush and steel straws. We have also recently begun carrying around a straw with us. Our little way to follow what we taught her.


8.Loving going to school, loving her teachers and her summer camps at school.
She loves school. Barring days when she is down with a high fever, she never misses school. She will not skip school if we just ask to. What does she love so much about school? The fact that she does painting every day, plays in the garden and talks to her friends. She also proclaims her love towards her teacher, B. Some days, she rattles off all that she has been doing at school, excitedly shows us all the materials before the PTM; and some days blankly say, she did nothing. But there is love even in that nothing.

9.Making up stories, the creative way
Sometimes little human beings make up stories, their own way. We adults call them lies. When we look at those stories from their eyes, there is a perspective to it. As a parent, it takes patience to make the child understand how such creative liberties must not be taken often. The best way to do this is not be creative in this sense with the child. In adult language, do not lie to a child because then the child will know that you are doing what you are expecting from them. Whoever said parenting was easy.

10. Making independent decisions and learning about consequences.
While the streak of independence was seen last year, this year it is stronger and expressed more vehemently. The other day I wanted to dry her hair and was vigorous with the towel. She wanted a little water left in her hair so that when she combs, she can feel it. She was upset with me and said, "I wanted you to leave little water. It is my body, my hair and my decision how wet my hair should be". I could either dismiss this as a little random thing or see how this is a way to assert independence. Also, the reason why once in awhile when she asks, we let her pack her bag the way she wants to and wear the clothes she wants to. They could not be coordinated according to an adult, but who cares. The little human being is learning to make decisions and live with the consequences.

11. Learning the joys of carpooling and going to school with her bunch of friends.
Last year, we used to go with A and junior A to school a lot of times and she even got picked up by A once in a while. This year, there have been many times when a few of her friends' parents and we decided to carpool. So, if one parent dropped the kids in the morning, another picked them up post school. For us, it was a new thing and for the kids too. What we learnt was that kids love going with their friends in the same car. The decibel level and the happiness quotient is high even after a tiring day at school and ofcourse they love the little treats that the parent picking them up carry. What is there not to like about lollypops, cupcakes and buttermilk or nimbu Pani?

12. Learning about gender roles and creating her own rules
It is very interesting how we may try to give her gender neutral toys or clothes in gender neutral colours; but somehow they are exposed to behavior or expectations that is heavily determined by gender. She was told that every girl should have a Barbie or that lipstick makes a girl beautiful. What ensued were conversations on how little human beings must do what they like and make their own rules. If she likes her superhero figurines, that is perfect. If she prefers blue and dinosaur on her tees, that is perfect. If she wants to keep the hair short and have Nash (her hair stylist) do some hair tattoos, that is fine too. There are days when she wants to play with Piku,Pata, Ashsha and Sasha, her dolls and that is fine too. The idea is to let her know that she has a choice. A choice about not confirming to gender roles, a choice about wearing the langa blouse and shorts because the langa obstructs when she plays in the school garden. It is a very critical line to define and we are working to unfold it with her.

13.Learning to claim her space and being a part of conversations
In her first year of Montessori, she would be shy and would take time to interact. Today, she helps her teacher to gather all children on the blue line, takes initiative to share thoughts during story time, makes it clear that it is her chance on the swing now. When she wants to listen to you, she will say 'excuse me' ( most of the time) and present her case. If you ignore or are self absorbed, she will make it clear that she needs to be heard. For her Papa and me, this is important because we believe that every little human being must learn to claim their space and be a part of conversations.

I initially thought that I had a few things to say, but once I began writing this piece, realised there was so much more to share.

We are grateful to the Montessori system where we see Ira blossoming and discovering herself, we are grateful to the experiences, the friendships that she and we have made over the last three years. We are grateful that we have found and built our support systems in this little world of ours.

From one Montessori parent to another, if gratitude can be spelt out in words- this is what it looks like.

                       Montessori Three, final day


#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Gratitude #Parenting #Montessori #Conversations #LittleHumanBeings #Stories #Learnings

Papa's feet, Ira's canvas

Today was a Sunday evening typical of a quiet weekend. Some reading, some activities, lot of R&R.

And then something happened, that just added a hue of the rainbow to the day!

Ira asked me to draw tattoos for her using poster paints. Her current fave- love symbol and Maui's hook (from Moana). I did as was asked and she chose the colours ofcourse.

Then, she turned to P and said, "Papa, I want to do tattoo for you." Papa nodded his head and soon his feet were her canvas. She chose what she wanted to draw, what colours she wanted to use and on completion, with pride told him he has a tattoo. What he had was her version of a love symbol, Maui's hook, rings and much more!

Our little human being was thrilled and so was her Papa!

#Ira #Iraisms #Happiness #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Tattoo

Little things, Big memories...the Ira way

There is a lot I have been wanting to write about in the last few weeks. They are little things that have happened. Little things that have created big memories! Little things involving our little human being.

The pace at which our little one seems to be growing, her thoughts, her desires, her articulated speech, her want of privacy, her 'i am still a baby' , 'i can do on my own'...all this and more. The other day we walked into Nilgiris post her Karate class and she walked around the chocolate rack and picked a book! A part of me was thrilled. But I also think it is because she has been gifted a lot of chocolates recently. Still, that little moment made one big memory.

Our holiday last month had many beautiful moments. There is one that will stay with me forever. The way Ira took to train travel, marking her territory on the top berth with Papa and spending time reading and playing uno. They do surprise us at times, don't they.

Recently, she has been constantly wanting to be occupied. It could be a board game, an activity, story telling, some physical play...just about anything. Matching up to that energy can be exhausting. We took her to her first concert recently. We have relied upon moments when she helps clean methi and sort veggies, flying kite on a weekend morning and hoping there is wind, being all excited about diy projects. Recently, we got her some activity kits and with Papa's help, she made shells and gifted them to friends. Today we made a windmill.We have to as parents keep figuring out new things to do and in between those moments, Ira finds to do something different with the old toys she has. They form characters in her stories and they walk and play and dance and sing, while she speaks all their dialogues, ofcourse.

This weekend has been about doing little things, absolutely unplanned! Ira loves donuts and we do let her indulge once in a while. We also managed a relaxed breakfast over lot of chatter and excitement about stirrers! She actually loves to hoard them. The little pleasures of childhood. The little things that create big memories.

#Ira #Iraisms #IraAtFour #TalesAtFour #LittleThingsBigMemories #Happiness #Gratitude

Ira at Chitra Santhe 2019, her first

January 6th, 2019 will be another milestone for us. We took Ira to Chitra Santhe 2019. For years, P and I along with some friends have blocked our calendars for this annual event. It is beautiful to see various forms of art in diverse mediums and the different things that inspire people. There are some themes that seem common every year- Buddha, Ravi Varma inspired portraits of women, Sadhus. As we stroll down the Kumara Krupa Road and bump into other friends who are art enthusiasts or who just live colour or who are there to meet other friends or who come to every event at CKP. It really doesn't matter. There are some who come to religiously buy the postcards, calendars and book marks often created by the Fine Art students, the themes new every year.

This year as we braced ourselves for the long walk, considering parking was prohibited post Nehru circle; we wondered how would Ira take it. She just began walking and insisted on walking by herself. Papa set some ground rules telling her that she can walk by herself in that growing crowd but has to ensure that they can see her and she can see them at any point of time. She seemed particularly taken by the paintings of animals, especially cats and dogs. She would walk past, look and say...see this! One of the artists asked her is she would like to draw something that a didi had drawn. She obviously was in her own world and walked past. The caricature person did grab her attention for a short while, but she wasn't intrigued enough to get one done of herself. After walking a distance, she wanted to be perched on Papa's shoulders and take the tour.

This continued for a while till a child holding a balloon caught her attention. And then we began the balloon wala hunt as we walked to more stalls. She was thrilled to get a balloon puppy and cotton candy. We do wish there were more activities to engage 3-4 year olds and not just stalls selling things they can buy. But it is important to clarify that this experience was not with a hope that it will inspire her to be an artist. As parents, we can only provide our little ones new unique experiences. What they make of it and how they build a world their own is an unknown intriguing palette.

For now, our little girl is happy drawing monsters and scribbling colours on a plain sheet.

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #MakingMemories #ChitraSanthe2019

Holiday and Friendships, the Ira way

Dear Ira,

As the year closes, I write this hoping (again) you will read it someday. We had many short holidays this year but the holiday that will stay in memory forever is the one that was planned primarily keeping your wish to meet a friend who shifted town. And yes, you are all of 4.5 years!

When your little friend shifted town, we bid goodbyes with promises to go there for a holiday. Afterall, Trivandrum was not that far. The anticipated train travel that we planned considering there were going to be few kids and it would be fun! As the days drew closer, you told everyone about your holiday including your teachers.

This holiday also meant we meet other friends who are in the same town. It turned out to be one of our best holidays- spent time with friends who are like family, got pampered and loved in ways that we will always remember. You relished the coconut rice and fish and ensured your rice had ample ghee :)

The highlight of this holiday was the way you took to the beach and the sea. As a one year old, the first time we introduced you to the sea, you wailed. This time around you didn't want to leave.

The playtime, the conversations, the fights, the story times, the quiz times all gave us a glimpse of what friendships are like. Whether it was you wanting to push Kuhu's cycle or feed her water, which has been your eternal quest since you know her. You, Adhrith and Dhwani fighting for your chance to ask the quiz question or making a run to collect sea shells or giggle uncontrollably after creating mess with the bubbles! Blocks, Uno, Jenga and books were like saviours and great companions.

I write this to you hoping that you shall retain these friendships over the years. Not just wish to meet,but make the effort required to keep friendships.

You must know that there will be difference of opinions, there will be distance that will separate you, you all will change over time, have different dreams and different desires. You will grow into individuals with opinions, with world views, you will love and you will aspire.

Sometimes you will get hurt and you will know which friend to turn to, sometimes you will just want to share a laugh,  talk about your broken heart, share the excited news of your achievements- big and small.

But, always remember that these friendships are precious and life is beautiful because of them.

Most of the things that matter in life are intangible and so are friendships! Each time you read the books you got as gifts and your eyes light up at the messages written, it makes our heart skip a beat. For the ones with no messages, Mamma has written who they are from. Because in those pages are the precious memories of this holiday, sealed forever.

For the year to come, may we discover another holiday, your way. And may you discover the beauty that friendships bring.

Love you to the stars and moon and back,
Mamma

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Happiness #Friendship #Life

A child and more on Children's Day and everyday

She is someday a child, someday only a baby, someday a little human being, someday a little girl, someday a big girl!

She moulds herself and her desire to be any of the above depending on the situation, what is it she is talking about and what is it she is deciding about.

She is only a baby when she wants Mamma to feed her and a big girl when she wants to play Papa's free fire game on the tab! She is a little girl who loves her movie and her tub of caramel popcorn.

She is a child who knows how to make each day her own. She has taught us to find the child in us and the last four odd years we have found ourselves reaching out to childhood memories to tell her stories at dinner time, bed time and just about any time of the day!

Childhood is precious and we are living every moment of it, redefined through Ira and her Iraisms.

Today, Papa and Ira went for a movie while Mamma is travelling on work. Mamma was super happy and has to admit, missed being there with these two Rockstars bigtime!

#Ira #Iraisms #ChildrensDay #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #WhenMammaTravelsPapaHoldsFort #LittleHumanBeings

Little Things That Make Ira Happy

Our evening here- The tale of a crown, boiled corn and timtimati lights on her cycle! #LittleThingsThatMakeIraHappy #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour

Ira and her 'Hair-art' Guy

            Making Memories of random moments

We all have memories of our hair cuts as kids. For years, I would go with Baba to the barber and get a boy cut. One summer when at Kolkata, my jethu took my cousin brother, sister and me and we all got a 'baati cut' (round hair cut like a bowl on top of head). As I progressed to middle school, my first visit was to a parlour in Rajajinagar called Mamatha. Baba took me there, sat outside while I got my first parlor haircut experience :)

With Ira, initially Papa cut her hair at home. Then we decided to take her to a parlor/ unisex salon. We tried quite a few. It was last year that Prashant in his quest for a salon that would do magic to his beard, post immense research chanced upon this salon in a quaint road at Ganganagar.

Called NashJack, the founder is Naresh. Papa has been bringing Ira here. He is fabulous with his art and keeps her engaged through constant conversation. He also does some fancy hair tattoos! Ira loves them and we love them on her :) It is funky and arty! From two arrows to lines to lightning, these add to her super-hero moments.

                      Selfie time with Mamma

Today was mamma's turn to bring her for the haircut as Papa is at work and the appointment was taken a few days back. We did some monkeying around and clicked some selfies while Nash set her on her special chair. Ira is in her element and Nash is her 'hair-art' guy. He also taught her 'bro' and so the conversation goes, "how do you like this bro?".

                      With the 'Hair-art' Guy- Nash

Ira post today's session gave a nod of approval and kept looking at herself in the mirror. The happiness was evident in that smile and twinkling eyes.

Ira has a mind of her own and her 'hair-art' guy gets that little mind and it's thoughts.

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #HairArt #Happiness #NashJack

Everyday is Ira's day! Every conversation, the Ira way

We all own a part of everyday that we live. Being parents to Ira, we realise this in many small ways every day.
There has been a tremendous increase in her imaginative play and it transcends home boundaries. We have her imaginary friends going shopping with us, going to park, restaurants everything.
Her world through her eyes seems so vibrant and we are often breathless catching up with her speed of thought and action. We ofcourse also have those moments when she is sitting with her mug of milk and day dreaming and smiling! This July, she turned 50 (months). We commemorated the moment with some books, weekend of play dates and her favorite food!
In a few weeks, she completes half a year of Mont 3. Does time fly or what?
A few things she says these days that we want to remember forever.

This is serious conversation. Don't laugh (When she is convincing us about something).

Mamma, will you relax please ( When I keep asking her to wind up her activities).

Papa, I am exhausted(When he asks her to skate or bike).

Woody told me to do this. I didn't do it (anything naughty she does, Woody or buzz light year are her partner's in crime)

Yes, I remember, in my brain (whenever we ask is she remembers something)

Bad word! ( a live censor at home, even guests are careful)

This is delicious (current description for her meals. We have moved on from yummy to delicious)

I have to keep it below my pillow. I will dream about them (keeps a book EVERY single day below the pillow, prophesying they will come in her dreams)

Say ok! (Like some solemn promise she asks for to an agreement we make)

A recent conversation when we were playing downstairs. "I will give you this flower. You have to run 10 times around me" ...well, I did run 10 times around her and was the proud recipient of that yellow flower and that sunshine smile.

Like I said, Everyday is Ira's Day!

Btw World! yesterday was Daughter's Day :)

Ira's mamma participated in a walkathon to raise awareness about abuse and support girls who are victims of abuse (deserves an individual post).

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Parenting #Conversations #DaughtersDay

Chipku Movement, the Ira way

She is my mamma, I love my mamma. She is mine.

I was inundated with hugs and kisses when I came home from Chennai last night. Our little girl has been missing me as I have been travelling almost every week last few weeks.

She launched her 'chipku movement' last night and it is ongoing! She almost clung onto me when I dropped her to school and I had to tell her that I will be picking her up today. A part of me almost, just almost walked the guilt road.

She told Papa he is her friend only next week when I travel again. For now, it is all mamma. I was asked to make her favorite 'alu bhatebhaat' for breakfast today. That is mashed potato rice! However, during the course of breakfast today, she tells me, "Tie my jhuttu like Papa" and she actually made me redo it as what I tied was at an angle and her Papa ties it straight. Little human beings do have a mind of their own.

For now, am thoroughly enjoying the 'chipku movement'!

Till I travel again and have more tales to write.

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #WhenMammaTravels #IraAtFour #Parenting #ChipkuMovement 

My two Heroes, my two Rockstars!

Last week when I travelled to Surat, before I left, Ira told me, "Mamma, am going to miss you!".

I began travelling on work when Ira was a little over 18 months. The first time was hard, harder for me than her. The significant other who has always epitomised the concept of shared parenting is a true rockstar. So, is my little girl.

Over the years, the two of them have made me believe that I can travel with no worries. I don't have to think of what they will eat ( P is a fabulous cook) as Papa always makes interesting food for even her lunch box on school days. I don't have to think if she has been given the meds when she is unwell and I have to travel. I don't have to worry if they can manage. They work like clockwork and even have their entertainment planned. Currently they are watching the superhero movies, one superhero at a time, each time I travel.

I come back home to a myriad of conversations that have transpired, to being told what new the superheroes are doing, how Ira and Papa went for a work meeting and how Papa made the yummiest cheese burger for her.

I love my work as a freelance consultant and am able to give it my best because I have two Rockstars who are my world.

This Sunday post is to them, my two heroes, my two Rockstars! And ofcourse, I miss them too when I travel.

#Ira #Iraisms #Rockstars #Heroes #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #SharedParenting #Sneher #Gratitude #Happiness

This is what parenting looks like

                                                         The Picture Perfect Moments

Parenting is picture perfect in moments- perfect smiles, adventurous plays, happy meal times, exciting story sessions!

And then parenting is hard in these times. Hard when your little one falls and gets that bruise that really hurts, cuts that bleed. Hard when your little ones eyes swell up with tears because another kid told them they will not play with them. Hard when your little one is unable to articulate why they are upset and they have their melt downs. But parenting is hardest when your little one is ill.

                                        Wearing the super hero mask and constantly chattering away

For the uninitiated, for the initiated and for the seasoned parents...this is what parenting actually looks like. Consecutive sleepless nights, your resilient little human being having that nasty bout of cough, recurring fever, needing that superhero mask which promises her strength and yet fails to deliver. When she during the course of nebulization tells you that the  heartbeat monitor is her wand and swishes her index finger to let the magic happen. When she wakes up coughing tells you her chest hurts, when she is sleeping on your chest most of the night and you can hear that little heart beating rapidly, when she tells Dida that she wants only 'garram pani'. When she is sitting and wanting to sleep the next moment because she is so exhausted of all the coughing. And yet amidst that moment, sitting in the hospital lobby, she tells Papa she is 'Strong Ira'. This is the moment when Papa and Mamma wish they are as strong as Ira.

                                                   Strong Ira, Precious moments


 This is what parenting looks like - vulnerable, lost, painful, desperate...hopeful. As we get her to wear her superhero mask again, I write this. I write to also share a hard moment- when I have dropped the medicine, poked myself with a syringe and have had hands shaking trying to get the medicine in place for nebulization. Can't help but feel like a loser. I know I should cut myself some slack but for that moment, this is exactly how I felt. Yes, parenting is hard and we parents are also hard on ourselves. Ira after few days of fighting the bug is now on antibiotics and on the mend slowly.I write this hoping our little human being regains her strength and has her superhero moments soon.

                                                   Homebound and keeping Self- busy!


#Parenting #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #Gratitude #Hope #IraIsOurSuperhero #IraAtFour #SuperheroMask

Look at their world through their eyes, when mommyhood feels hard

Look at their world through their eyes!
   
The last two days has been a roller coaster ride in some ways. Our little girl has been sprightly and supremely assertive , wanting to do her own thing. She wants to eat her way, meal times have been long. No is the most common answer. If she wants something and we refuse, she gets very upset.

She is developing her personality and finding her way in this world where adults can be very confusing. I say this because at times we forget to look at their world through their eyes and we look at it through our eyes. We often miss the finer details of why they are upset, why they are adamant, why they want something their way. We forget that little human beings are finding their ways and their little feet will take strides and figure out how to overcome the hurdles on their way.

This note is a reminder to self, a reminder to a mamma who is having an exceptionally hard few days controlling her temper. Am usually very even tempered and have tons of patience. Am not proud of how I have reacted, raised my voice and gritted my teeth. In retrospect, I should have handled my temper better, I should know that she will mirror my behavior, I should understand that she is right from her perspective.

For me, these have been hard days, very hard. I have been in tears after a screaming bout because that is not me and that is not what I want her to remember when she goes to bed that night, that mamma screamed at her. Thankfully, Papa has been balancing things out and telling me when am going overboard. Parenting is hard and parenting is team work. We all need to remember that.

This note is to tell all my other mommy friends that many of us will have such days, days when we are not how we think we should be as mothers. But this too shall pass. Am I being hard on myself? May be I am. Because parenting has been the most fulfilling experience of my life, with the happy glorious days and the sad difficult days like this. Parenthood has changed me, like forever.
We just came to her karate class after a gap of a few days. While she walked into class, I got a hug and flying kisses. It is a heart melting moment, the moments that define parenthood.

I remember writing a post almost a year back about parenting being a heartbreaking and heartmelting moment. Guess this is what I do best when am happy and am sad, I write. It is my way to find solace, my route to catharsis.
The learning is simple for days like this, "Look at their world through their eyes, when mommyhood feels hard".

#Parenting #Parenthood #Mommyhood #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #NoteToSelf

Our ' Little Big' Girl!

Dear Ira,

You began Montessori 3 today and with it, we begin another year of learning as parents. Your kaleidoscopic world is only getting more colourful, filled with vivid experiences and expressive narrations.

Today as I dropped you to school, it was a big moment. Papa is in hospital, recovering from a surgery and we decided to take some pics, especially for him. You told me you wanted to stand in a particular way and at that moment, our baby, our precious just became a 'little big' girl.

The last few months we have seen a surge in your independent thoughts and your assertiveness. Few weeks back when Papa and Mamma went on a holiday to mark their 10 th anniversary, you stayed with Dadu, Dida and Joy for four days. A milestone for all of us. While I wanted to call you several times whenever we found a small band of network, you would pick the call, say hello, what you are doing and a quick bye. You also wished us 'Happy happy anniversary'. Your Papa proudly said, "I told you, she would be more than fine". Guess he discovered the 'little big' girl in you before Mamma did.

Wishing you a fabulous Mont 3 as we gear up for another adventure filled year ahead. All things new, tales at four!

Love you,
Mamma

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #AllThingsNew #Happiness #Gratitude #Parenting #Independent #Assertive #LittleBigGirl #MontessoriThree 

I am so glad it is my birthday today!

                               Be Happy

Ira turned four today and we celebrated four years of parenthood. The day was spent thanking everyone who wished her; we witnessed a less shy her , more open to acknowledging and smiling when someone wished her.

                      The cake was yummy!

Of course all conversations were interspersed with , "I am so glad it is my birthday today". A buffet breakfast with family where the highlight for her was her birthday cake- chocolate truffle and the Captain America figurine she received as a gift. So, we all took turns all day being Captain America and saving each other in imaginary situations.

Ira loves long drives and the next pit stop of her birthday celebration was Prani, The Pet Sanctuary at Kanakpura. We had chanced upon this place on a friends timeline few months back and it was on the to do list. Ira loves natural spaces and animals and we couldn't think of a better way than this to spend the day. She fed the birds, petted the animals, held rodents, saw iguana, terrapin and emu with great curiosity, played on the swing and even declared that the lemon juice was yummy. When we asked her which was her fave animal, she counted almost all of them on her fingers. She even told us that she loved the place and wants to go back and stay there and be with the animals.

                   A Day, just the way Ira likes it

For me personally, planning her gifts is one exciting task. This year we got her a small paint set, and a telescope so that she can explore the sky having recently ventured into reading about the space and playing a 'space' infotainment game with papa on the tab. We also got her a book called  Relativity for Babies (a fabulous series by Chris Ferrie) and a story cube game from Shumee. You roll the cubes and which ever sides face up , you make a story with that. Hoping to spend many story telling and story making evenings together.

Another year, bracing ourselves for more new things and new #TalesAtFour
#Ira #Iraisms #HappyBirthday #IraturnsFour #Happiness #Gratitude #Parenting