Some experiences nudge us to happiness and this was mine

Sometimes, life throws opportunities at you that you must grab without a second thought. This is exactly what I did in June when the course coordinator for MA Public Policy, MCC called me and asked if I would be able to take the Behavioral Science Course for the MAPP second year students.

Having taught this at IISc in 2015, I was ready to embark on another semester of teaching BS. However, the entire orientation and focus of the course was different from what I had taught earlier. I had earlier taught Management and design students and the concepts were primarily focusing on psychology and management. This time, there was a lot of focus on economic concepts and for me, this was a whole new learning. Prior to each session, I would sit for hours reading papers, books and prepping for the session. And was absolutely thrilled with myself for creating unconventional question paper for them, with some abstract elements. For the uninitiated, academia is so much of hard work and I have immense respect for all my friends who are full time academicians; and for my teachers.

The class composition was what made teaching this course one of my best experiences ever. The students were intelligent, dynamic young women who knew what they were striving for and also why they were pursuing this course .They were from diverse backgrounds of English literature, Journalism, Psychology, Microbiology, Engineering, Public Policy (I hope I haven't missed any!). Each of them brought with them their share of unique experiences and working at the grassroots with different organizations for their internship.

Our classes were filled with experiential anecdotes, some that made us thoughtful and some laugh so hard, that our cheeks would hurt.

I absolutely enjoyed this 'teaching stint' and they will always be a special bunch of girls for me. Today, I not only took my final class with them, but I also invigilated a Psychology Practical exam that brought back tons of memories.

Some experiences nudge us to happiness and this was mine! Wishing the girls best for all their endeavors.

#Happiness #LoveTeaching #BehavioralScience #MyAlmaMater #ExistentialExperiences

Everyday is Ira's day! Every conversation, the Ira way

We all own a part of everyday that we live. Being parents to Ira, we realise this in many small ways every day.
There has been a tremendous increase in her imaginative play and it transcends home boundaries. We have her imaginary friends going shopping with us, going to park, restaurants everything.
Her world through her eyes seems so vibrant and we are often breathless catching up with her speed of thought and action. We ofcourse also have those moments when she is sitting with her mug of milk and day dreaming and smiling! This July, she turned 50 (months). We commemorated the moment with some books, weekend of play dates and her favorite food!
In a few weeks, she completes half a year of Mont 3. Does time fly or what?
A few things she says these days that we want to remember forever.

This is serious conversation. Don't laugh (When she is convincing us about something).

Mamma, will you relax please ( When I keep asking her to wind up her activities).

Papa, I am exhausted(When he asks her to skate or bike).

Woody told me to do this. I didn't do it (anything naughty she does, Woody or buzz light year are her partner's in crime)

Yes, I remember, in my brain (whenever we ask is she remembers something)

Bad word! ( a live censor at home, even guests are careful)

This is delicious (current description for her meals. We have moved on from yummy to delicious)

I have to keep it below my pillow. I will dream about them (keeps a book EVERY single day below the pillow, prophesying they will come in her dreams)

Say ok! (Like some solemn promise she asks for to an agreement we make)

A recent conversation when we were playing downstairs. "I will give you this flower. You have to run 10 times around me" ...well, I did run 10 times around her and was the proud recipient of that yellow flower and that sunshine smile.

Like I said, Everyday is Ira's Day!

Btw World! yesterday was Daughter's Day :)

Ira's mamma participated in a walkathon to raise awareness about abuse and support girls who are victims of abuse (deserves an individual post).

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Parenting #Conversations #DaughtersDay

Chipku Movement, the Ira way

She is my mamma, I love my mamma. She is mine.

I was inundated with hugs and kisses when I came home from Chennai last night. Our little girl has been missing me as I have been travelling almost every week last few weeks.

She launched her 'chipku movement' last night and it is ongoing! She almost clung onto me when I dropped her to school and I had to tell her that I will be picking her up today. A part of me almost, just almost walked the guilt road.

She told Papa he is her friend only next week when I travel again. For now, it is all mamma. I was asked to make her favorite 'alu bhatebhaat' for breakfast today. That is mashed potato rice! However, during the course of breakfast today, she tells me, "Tie my jhuttu like Papa" and she actually made me redo it as what I tied was at an angle and her Papa ties it straight. Little human beings do have a mind of their own.

For now, am thoroughly enjoying the 'chipku movement'!

Till I travel again and have more tales to write.

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #WhenMammaTravels #IraAtFour #Parenting #ChipkuMovement 

My two Heroes, my two Rockstars!

Last week when I travelled to Surat, before I left, Ira told me, "Mamma, am going to miss you!".

I began travelling on work when Ira was a little over 18 months. The first time was hard, harder for me than her. The significant other who has always epitomised the concept of shared parenting is a true rockstar. So, is my little girl.

Over the years, the two of them have made me believe that I can travel with no worries. I don't have to think of what they will eat ( P is a fabulous cook) as Papa always makes interesting food for even her lunch box on school days. I don't have to think if she has been given the meds when she is unwell and I have to travel. I don't have to worry if they can manage. They work like clockwork and even have their entertainment planned. Currently they are watching the superhero movies, one superhero at a time, each time I travel.

I come back home to a myriad of conversations that have transpired, to being told what new the superheroes are doing, how Ira and Papa went for a work meeting and how Papa made the yummiest cheese burger for her.

I love my work as a freelance consultant and am able to give it my best because I have two Rockstars who are my world.

This Sunday post is to them, my two heroes, my two Rockstars! And ofcourse, I miss them too when I travel.

#Ira #Iraisms #Rockstars #Heroes #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #SharedParenting #Sneher #Gratitude #Happiness

This is what parenting looks like

                                                         The Picture Perfect Moments

Parenting is picture perfect in moments- perfect smiles, adventurous plays, happy meal times, exciting story sessions!

And then parenting is hard in these times. Hard when your little one falls and gets that bruise that really hurts, cuts that bleed. Hard when your little ones eyes swell up with tears because another kid told them they will not play with them. Hard when your little one is unable to articulate why they are upset and they have their melt downs. But parenting is hardest when your little one is ill.

                                        Wearing the super hero mask and constantly chattering away

For the uninitiated, for the initiated and for the seasoned parents...this is what parenting actually looks like. Consecutive sleepless nights, your resilient little human being having that nasty bout of cough, recurring fever, needing that superhero mask which promises her strength and yet fails to deliver. When she during the course of nebulization tells you that the  heartbeat monitor is her wand and swishes her index finger to let the magic happen. When she wakes up coughing tells you her chest hurts, when she is sleeping on your chest most of the night and you can hear that little heart beating rapidly, when she tells Dida that she wants only 'garram pani'. When she is sitting and wanting to sleep the next moment because she is so exhausted of all the coughing. And yet amidst that moment, sitting in the hospital lobby, she tells Papa she is 'Strong Ira'. This is the moment when Papa and Mamma wish they are as strong as Ira.

                                                   Strong Ira, Precious moments


 This is what parenting looks like - vulnerable, lost, painful, desperate...hopeful. As we get her to wear her superhero mask again, I write this. I write to also share a hard moment- when I have dropped the medicine, poked myself with a syringe and have had hands shaking trying to get the medicine in place for nebulization. Can't help but feel like a loser. I know I should cut myself some slack but for that moment, this is exactly how I felt. Yes, parenting is hard and we parents are also hard on ourselves. Ira after few days of fighting the bug is now on antibiotics and on the mend slowly.I write this hoping our little human being regains her strength and has her superhero moments soon.

                                                   Homebound and keeping Self- busy!


#Parenting #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #Gratitude #Hope #IraIsOurSuperhero #IraAtFour #SuperheroMask

My Big Bindi and Me, a love story

This post is all about loving myself and my big Bindi. As a student, we had an awesome English teacher who wore this big maroon Bindi and carried it off with so much elan. At college, my favorite History professor and one of my Sociology professor also wore big bindis. While I have always loved them, it is only in the last few years that I ventured into wearing them. I always wondered if they would make my already big face seem bigger. Then I told myself, life is too short to worry about big faces . The final inspiration has to be a dear friend who not just wears big bindis but also wears the most colourful big bindis. So, here I am loving my big bindis. Some tell me they make me look very Bong. But I thought my smile and cheeks already did that! Anyways, if you love something do it,wear it, experience it. Life is too small to miss such big moments. #LovingMyself #BigBindiSyndrome #LoveBigBindi #ExistentialExperiences #Happiness

Look at their world through their eyes, when mommyhood feels hard

Look at their world through their eyes!
   
The last two days has been a roller coaster ride in some ways. Our little girl has been sprightly and supremely assertive , wanting to do her own thing. She wants to eat her way, meal times have been long. No is the most common answer. If she wants something and we refuse, she gets very upset.

She is developing her personality and finding her way in this world where adults can be very confusing. I say this because at times we forget to look at their world through their eyes and we look at it through our eyes. We often miss the finer details of why they are upset, why they are adamant, why they want something their way. We forget that little human beings are finding their ways and their little feet will take strides and figure out how to overcome the hurdles on their way.

This note is a reminder to self, a reminder to a mamma who is having an exceptionally hard few days controlling her temper. Am usually very even tempered and have tons of patience. Am not proud of how I have reacted, raised my voice and gritted my teeth. In retrospect, I should have handled my temper better, I should know that she will mirror my behavior, I should understand that she is right from her perspective.

For me, these have been hard days, very hard. I have been in tears after a screaming bout because that is not me and that is not what I want her to remember when she goes to bed that night, that mamma screamed at her. Thankfully, Papa has been balancing things out and telling me when am going overboard. Parenting is hard and parenting is team work. We all need to remember that.

This note is to tell all my other mommy friends that many of us will have such days, days when we are not how we think we should be as mothers. But this too shall pass. Am I being hard on myself? May be I am. Because parenting has been the most fulfilling experience of my life, with the happy glorious days and the sad difficult days like this. Parenthood has changed me, like forever.
We just came to her karate class after a gap of a few days. While she walked into class, I got a hug and flying kisses. It is a heart melting moment, the moments that define parenthood.

I remember writing a post almost a year back about parenting being a heartbreaking and heartmelting moment. Guess this is what I do best when am happy and am sad, I write. It is my way to find solace, my route to catharsis.
The learning is simple for days like this, "Look at their world through their eyes, when mommyhood feels hard".

#Parenting #Parenthood #Mommyhood #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #NoteToSelf

Our ' Little Big' Girl!

Dear Ira,

You began Montessori 3 today and with it, we begin another year of learning as parents. Your kaleidoscopic world is only getting more colourful, filled with vivid experiences and expressive narrations.

Today as I dropped you to school, it was a big moment. Papa is in hospital, recovering from a surgery and we decided to take some pics, especially for him. You told me you wanted to stand in a particular way and at that moment, our baby, our precious just became a 'little big' girl.

The last few months we have seen a surge in your independent thoughts and your assertiveness. Few weeks back when Papa and Mamma went on a holiday to mark their 10 th anniversary, you stayed with Dadu, Dida and Joy for four days. A milestone for all of us. While I wanted to call you several times whenever we found a small band of network, you would pick the call, say hello, what you are doing and a quick bye. You also wished us 'Happy happy anniversary'. Your Papa proudly said, "I told you, she would be more than fine". Guess he discovered the 'little big' girl in you before Mamma did.

Wishing you a fabulous Mont 3 as we gear up for another adventure filled year ahead. All things new, tales at four!

Love you,
Mamma

#Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #AllThingsNew #Happiness #Gratitude #Parenting #Independent #Assertive #LittleBigGirl #MontessoriThree 

I am so glad it is my birthday today!

                               Be Happy

Ira turned four today and we celebrated four years of parenthood. The day was spent thanking everyone who wished her; we witnessed a less shy her , more open to acknowledging and smiling when someone wished her.

                      The cake was yummy!

Of course all conversations were interspersed with , "I am so glad it is my birthday today". A buffet breakfast with family where the highlight for her was her birthday cake- chocolate truffle and the Captain America figurine she received as a gift. So, we all took turns all day being Captain America and saving each other in imaginary situations.

Ira loves long drives and the next pit stop of her birthday celebration was Prani, The Pet Sanctuary at Kanakpura. We had chanced upon this place on a friends timeline few months back and it was on the to do list. Ira loves natural spaces and animals and we couldn't think of a better way than this to spend the day. She fed the birds, petted the animals, held rodents, saw iguana, terrapin and emu with great curiosity, played on the swing and even declared that the lemon juice was yummy. When we asked her which was her fave animal, she counted almost all of them on her fingers. She even told us that she loved the place and wants to go back and stay there and be with the animals.

                   A Day, just the way Ira likes it

For me personally, planning her gifts is one exciting task. This year we got her a small paint set, and a telescope so that she can explore the sky having recently ventured into reading about the space and playing a 'space' infotainment game with papa on the tab. We also got her a book called  Relativity for Babies (a fabulous series by Chris Ferrie) and a story cube game from Shumee. You roll the cubes and which ever sides face up , you make a story with that. Hoping to spend many story telling and story making evenings together.

Another year, bracing ourselves for more new things and new #TalesAtFour
#Ira #Iraisms #HappyBirthday #IraturnsFour #Happiness #Gratitude #Parenting

Summer and Sunshine, the Ira way

When Summer is about finding 'sunshine' filled moments!

To me the word sunshine is synonymous with hope, happiness and positivity. For years, it was my signature for the IISc student newsletter team emails, where I was referred as 'M' ( my team was as kickass or even more than the Bond team). I still have some friends who refer to this in our conversations even now.

This year, summer has been filled with such sunshine filled moments. Bangalore is hot with intermittent rains and we have done some new fun things with Ira, which was also intermittently interspersed with some elements of learning.

We took Ira to a Cubbon Park Cleanup drive on 1st May, 2018. An initiative thoughtfully organised, where children put on gloves and clear the beautiful park of the unnecessary plastic , paper and more. P got to the ground with Ira while I was the garbage bag holder, guiding her to bits of plastic amidst the green. It was the first time she participated in a community activity and coincidentally the second summer camp she attended was about community helpers. She did the cleaning up for almost an hour taking a fruit break in between to reenergise herself. She proclaimed that people who make parks  dirty are bad people. I wish we could explain the complexity of pollution and its impact to her in such simple black and white terms.

The summer camps this year have explored newer things and she has also come home with a kitty of new songs that she has learned. The favorite one being a song about monkeys and crocodiles and a phrase, "you can't catch me...". The first camp was about cooking and they learnt to make lemon juice, buttermilk, chapati, bhelpuri, sandwich, vegetable salad, fruit salad, dosa and akki roti. In the second camp, they learnt about people who through their professions help the community like policeman, fireman, gardener etc. The third camp that is ongoing is about art and craft. What we have realised these two years is that she has lots of fun and she loves going to camp. Ofcourse we do have the tender coconut to thank that ensures guaranteed happiness post the camp. One fateful day when the camp had a holiday and mamma and she landed at the school door; she was sad and made sure the teacher and mamma acknowledged that. Of course, a visit to Nilgiris and she shopping for some of her fave things helped to elevate the misery.

While Mamma travelled on work, she and Papa also did the much awaited thing. Getting her a haircut and doing something different with the hairstyle. Ira wanted a star or sun or saturn, with the rings. Finally, the stylist did two arrow shapes, intersecting. While she excitedly narrated to me over phone about this, she also used every opportunity to go to the mirror and admire the design. Who knew two little arrow strokes could be such a source of happiness.


While Ira has her summer break, Mamma and Papa are juggling their work schedules and her holiday time. So, when we are busy Dadu picks her from camp and he is promptly reminded to get her a chocolate bun from nilgiris, through a call at 7am! Ira also has accompanied us to some meetings and kept herself busy with colouring and books.

This summer, P and I contemplated if we should put Ira into some activity classes. A class that would help her channelise her energy and also over time, she can figure out if she likes the activity enough to continue. So, we zeroed in on 'Karate'. We told her what it is, P showed her some videos and then we got her to the demo class. The teacher also wanted to see if she is ready for this. She began her classes and is enthusiastic about even waking up at 6 on a Sunday mrng to go to class. While she does her class, I sit on the bench outside the premises and write this blog post.


It is a beautiful sunshine filled morning, in every sense.

*Written on 6th May 2018

Let the 'Purple Hibiscus' blossom

It is not everyday that you finish a book in less than 24 hours (been a long long time since it has happened to me).
It is not everyday that you root for the central character to find her 'voice' and her wings.
It is not everyday that a debut novel makes you believe in human strengths and follies.
Go read this story of Kambili, because it is one of the best books you will ever read.

#BookReview #BooksIn2018