You Matter

Mental health is complex and the triggers are multi- layered. We can never undermine individual experiences or simplify it as a binary causation of success and failure. As a student of Clinical Psychology, one of the first things I realised is that no amount of reading articles and books could prepare us to understand mental health issues in all its complexities. Being trained as a lay man counsellor and later as a Suicide helpline professional at Medico Pastoral Association, the experiences only strengthened my belief that mental health needs attention, awareness and constant monitoring. The stigma associated with it is a huge deterrent for seeking help and often we never know.

We as individuals can aim to be understanding, compassionate and empathetic; but just the process of awareness, recognition and acceptance is a long battle. There is no easy way to recognise depression in self or a friend. I have seen very close friends battle depression, seek help and struggle with it. Some of them highly functioning individuals. If you didn’t know them well enough, you would never know.

While we mourn the demise of a young talented actor today, who died from suicide (The news reports suggest that the actor was suffering from depression.); it is disheartening to see the speculations and the judgements being passed on young people and their inability to handle pressure, why can’t people just talk, success and failure is part of life etc etc. While messages can be well-meaning, we may also unknowingly give out a message that can be triggering and difficult for the ones who are dealing with depression and other mental health issues currently.

A few things that all of us need to remember, especially in these trying times.

1. Clinical Depression shows up differently in different people. Symptoms can be physical and emotional by nature. There is a hormonal and also, a hereditary component involved. Some of the people with depression could also be high functioning individuals. You look at them and you feel everything is perfect with their lives. (https://www.healthline.com/health/what-you-should-know-high-functioning-depression) (https://www.psycom.net/high-functioning-depression/)

2. Clinical Depression is not a passing phase. People just can’t snap out of it. The ones affected by it are dealing with it every way they can. The bad days can be extremely hard and exhausting. Different individuals choose different modes of treatment and may reach out for help differently. There is no single solution that fits everyone.

3. We must always be empathetic on how we talk and report suicide. The conversations have to be sound and compassionate. (https://www.irmi.com/articles/expert-commentary/language-matters-committed-suicide)

4. The current pandemic has hade a huge impact on everyone and their mental health, especially people with anxiety and depression. The unemployment and impacts of career, along with the increasing feeling of loneliness has affected people across age groups. (https://www.forbes.com/sites/terinaallen/2020/05/14/depression-is-on-the-rise-with-high-unemployment-and-career-instability/#ee4fcb7d9f40) (https://www.forbes.com/sites/johnkoetsier/2020/05/23/25-million-students-on-covid-19-depression-anxiety-and-loneliness-hitting-peak-levels/#a5ea0d577b80)

5. If at any point of time, we feel someone is going through something difficult or is dealing with a personal struggle, we should try and reach out. The onus is on each of us to help another. Make that call, write that message, visit that friend or family member. Never dismiss someone because they have been quiet and you assume, they need space; or someone because they are constantly chattering away and assume nothing can deter them. Just reach out, even if you have an iota of a feeling that someone needs you. Let them know this one thing- "You Matter".

Every human struggle is real. Life is transient. Let us be kind. Always.

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** This article was initially written and posted on Linkedin on 14th June 2020.