The day, as a Mother I taught Ira...

 

      Always, with my girl, every step of the way. A Picture taken on one of our walks in Goa recently. 

This month, to commemorate Women's Day, many organizations plan sessions and activities for their women employees. I had the opportunity to facilitate one such session on Seat at the Table. While the session encompassed embracing our creativity, taking risks  being audacious, bringing in zeal and gravitas to push for a seat at the table, it also got me thinking about an incident that happened with Ira and me few days back. 

We had visited my parents and were returning home in the metro. We got into the metro at the designated stop and also found a seat, much to our joy. A stop later, the metro seats began to fill up and then a woman came in. She looked at Ira and gestured her to move to my lap. I told Ira to keep her seat. Ira was also carrying her back pack and holding onto another small bag that i had given her. The woman still pushed her and sat, in the process ensuring another girl next to her also had to adjust. 

She then began a tirade of mumbles about how mothers like me don't teach our daughters to adjust and so girls today grow up to be the way they are. I honestly have no idea what she meant. 

We had so far not engaged with her and i did not want to do so. She sat pushing Ira and intruding her personal space. When I asked her not to do so, I received a glare and more mumbles in the vernacular. She may have thought I do not understand Kannada too well. I spoke to her in Kannada, by the way. After a while the girl on her left alighted at a stop. But this woman did not move and continued to push Ira and me. When I told her there is space and could she please move as Ira was uncomfortable, she began loudly grumbling to her copassenger. No one gave heed to her. However, she made the journey quite unpleasant. While alighting she gave us a glare and mocked us too. 

What I want to share here is that she was a person with able health. If it was someone elderly, a person expecting or unwell, we would have on our own given up our seat. But this incident became one where a child was bullied to give up her seat. Children purchase the same ticket as an adult. They have a right to their seat. 

One of the easy things to do would have been to just succumb to the bullying and give her the seat. But that day, as a Mother, I chose to teach Ira a few things

Be considerate to people, but before that to yourself. Do not succumb to bullying. 

Break the norm, rather make the norm. You are not being disrespectful by saying No to someone who feels they have the right to intrude your space. 

And always, Stand up for yourself. Also, sit down for yourself too, when needed. 

I want to be the mother that does not teach her girl to adjust. 

I want to be the mother that does not teach her girl to say yes always. 

I want to be the mother that does not teach her girl to give up her space. 

I want to be the mother that does not belittle the worth of her little human being. 

I want to be the mother that does not shy away from embracing equity. 

That is the mother I want to be. 

A picture taken that morning before we boarded the metro :) Ira has a metro card like me, but we didn't have it on us and so the token excitement.

 

And yeah, this happened on 8th March 2023, when the world was celebrating International Women's Day. 

This is Part 1 of the post. Part 2 , I will share a few wonderful moments from the same day. So, keep reading. 

#IraAndMamma #Ira #Iraisms #IraAtEight #EffablesAtEight #HappyWomensDay #EmbracingEquity #MetroTravel #ExistentialThoughts