Found my ‘cup’ of happiness!

While growing up, I always saw that Menstruation was a topic that was spoken about in hushed tones. Be it sharing the news that a little girl has grown up (yes, this is what is exactly said), knowing smiles from aunties, discussion among jethis and mashi about how being a girl is about enduring pain. Your teachers are very considerate and kind and tell you to be discrete about this new development. You have of course been told what it is in some of the strangest ways possible. It is bad blood that the body has to throw away, it happens to girls so that they can become woman and have children, it is God's will that you will have to go through the pain and discomfort and try not to complain. After all, a girl is born to suffer. You are not supposed to talk about it to your father or the other male members in the family or to boys at school. You can just' whisper' and pretend to 'stayfree'. 

Thankfully, the conversations are changing today. We no more have to hide the napkins or feel awkward to talk about period cramps. The conversations are changing, the mind sets are changing and we are working to get rid of the taboos and the myths. I for sure will not be telling Ira that it is bad blood leaving the body! There is a lot more happening to spread awareness about menstrual health. We have informative health portals, where people are sharing their thoughts and experiences. Aditi Gupta, the founder of Menstrupedia has relentlessly been campaigning about menstrual health and hygiene. The first time I visited this blog, I felt so happy and relieved that someone was addressing the health concerns and the taboos and doing it the right way. The advertisements today are less discrete though the white trousers and blue liquid on pads reign the screen. There are massive efforts towards educating girls in villages about menstrual health.  The story of Padma Shri Arunachalam Muruganantham, the social entrepreneur from Tamil Nadu who created low cost sanitary pads and changed lives. Two years back, I read about the sustainable menstruation campaign, where women were urged to shift to cloth pads and menstrual cups. EcoFemme has cloth pads that help you shift to sustainable and more Eco friendly ways to handle menstruation.

January for me has been about making some changes to my life and shifting to the cup has been one such change. Prashant told me about the cup almost two years ago and then another close friend who has been using it also told me about the benefits. While I was sold on the idea, I just couldn't muster up the courage to make the transition. This month, talking to a confidante who was just taking the plunge gave me the final push. She later said we are cup sisters (only women can come up with names like this!). We were ordering it from Boondh. Of course, this involved reading up all over again about the benefits and such, dos and don'ts. It's amazing the colour choices that are available. Happy to have cupverted in 2017! The menstrual cup brands are boondh, she cup, moon cup, the diva cup, lunette and the keeper.

So, stating some of the obvious advantages and some challenges. 

Advantages :

1. It is good for the environment. You as an individual are creating less sanitary waste.

2. It is less cumbersome. No need to worry about carrying a newspaper to dispose the napkin or the tampon. Most bathrooms in public places still don't have dustbins. 

3. It is comfortable and easy to use as long as you follow the technique and within a cycle or two, I am sure it will only get better.  Understand your body and how it is reacting to the cup. 

4. You don't have to worry about that nasty cough or sneeze and that weird feeling of 'flooding'. The cup is snug and works well. 

5. You can swim, exercise and lead an active lifestyle wearing the cup. 

6. No worries about rashes due to napkins. This is a big plus. 

Challenges

There are however some things to keep in mind. 

1. It will take some time getting used to it.  I shifted from napkins to tampons to the cup and the transition was fine. But I was still nervous. Also, essential to choose the right size or choose a brand that makes an average size fit for all.

2. It is not as hands free as using a napkin or a tampon.  Also, it is honestly a little messy when you empty the cup. But again, you will get used to it. 

3. You will need a decent bathroom with water supply when you are on your periods and using the cup. Lot of hand wash too, as you have to wash your hands and the cup properly.

4. All manuals claim that it lasts for longer than the napkins. It does.  However, for a heavy bleeder, it can get almost full in 6 hours in the first two days. 

5. People who are allergic to silicone, who have a IUD and those who have a history of toxic shock syndrome cannot use the cup (from the user manual). 

6. Any change is challenging and the mind and body needs time to adjust to the change.  Essential we give it that time. 

So, to all the ladies out there. Give the cup a chance, it does make life better.  #cupvert2017 #boondh #lettheconversationsbegin #menstrualhealth #menstrualhygiene #sustainablemenstruation #menstrualcup #periods #embracechange

Like this... Like this... Like this.. the Ira way!

Ira had her first ever annual day today,  Jackfruit House Festive Aura 2016-17. A historical day for the Pramadh household again. Preps began weeks ago at school.  We got a chit that specified that we are supposed to get a red satin frock with frills,  white stocking, black shoes and silver pompoms as she was part of the Christmas dance. Parental diligence demanded that we ask her everyday what she was doing for her annual day. The response would be a stoic silence. The day neared, P and I shopped for the clothes and shoes (got two cheap options from trusted Bata, one of which was later used by a little hero on the A day). A mommy friend came to the rescue and got the silver pompoms after some R&D in malleshwaram. Just a few days prior to the A day, Ira showed us some of the steps, saying... Like this... Like this.. Like this. Throughout she sang jingle bells.

As the day arrived, she had only practice sessions for few days. We got a memo with rules and regulations, stating how we must not crowd the place trying to take pics and videos and the school has made the required arrangements. This was definitely a good thing. The other bullet was that we parents were requested to be attired ethnically. Bringing up a child is a big task but following school instructions is an even bigger one. Almost like we parents are students again in another time line.

The day began early this morning and our little girl was all excited. We managed a small photo session at home before heading to school. The children were let in and in some time, we parents were let in.
The programme list stated the Christmas dance as the third one. With bated breath we waited and then walked on to stage our little ones. They held their poms poms and they all did dance, in their own little way. They danced to Feliz Navidad! None of this mattered- the unsynchronised steps, the missed beats,  the staring and doing nothing,  the trying to clean the pompoms on stage. Time stood still for us proud parents as our little ones took on the stage and totally owned it.

The festive Aura showcased various dances for festivals across the year. The children emceeing each dance were so articulate and impressive. It was a beautiful morning when the cloudy sky and the gentle breeze kept us company.

Ira did do some of her like this... Like this steps, she smiled, adjusted her pompoms and at times just stood there.  While entering the gates, her papa told her 'Be awesome'  and she was just that with all the added doses of Iraisms. 

5 Mantras to ‘effectively complete’ THAT Online Course

A few things I learnt while doing some online courses on Venture Labs. Working with Nitin and Kumudhini only made the process of learning more enjoyable. Shared these on #ClubSciWri this January. The article was originally published on 2nd January, 2017 at http://www.sciwri.club/archives/1947

#csg #onlinecourses #ClubSciWri

Online courses have been around for a few years now. Coursera, Venture Labs and many more portals have innumerable courses ranging a wide breadth of topics. While online courses are the perfect place to go for those who want to learn new things, it is also a great way to build skills that will help you go up a few notches in your career. Some of the courses may be directly connected to your area of study or current work, while some may be diametrically opposite. Some of the learnings may be immediately visible and some may be more latent.

Five Mantras to effective complete that online course

1. Choose a course that interests you 

Interest is the key word here.  Do not choose a course just because someone is doing it.  While there is a lot of flexibility, it is essential to remember that you have to figure out the best way to make the most out of them.  So, choose a course topic about which you are motivated to pick up a book or read the slides, end of a long day.

2. Work with a study partner or a study group

They could be geographically spread out or even your close friends in the same city. It helps to have a partner in crime. Build a rapport and work together, making the most of each of your complementary skills.

3. Plan for the course and create a time table

Plan the time commitment ahead.  Understand how much time you can invest in a six week course.  Prepare mentally for it, and then physically too. Treat it with as much seriousness as you would a regular course. Timetable for assignments and deadlines, make lists of what you have learnt, what is the next session about and your work that needs to be completed.

4. Online courses are like a Pandora’s Box

You have to figure out how individual assignments work for you, video lessons, audio lessons and presentations.  During the course, also focus on the learning tool being used. Before you know, you have learnt a whole lot of new things.

5. Self-motivation is the key

Remind yourself why you are doing this. Be disciplined. While you complete the suggested reading material, read anything you find on the topic. Always helps to widen your horizons, literally.

Speaking about my personal experience, I have done a few courses from Stanford Venture Labs on Creativity, Design Thinking and Technology Entrepreneurship. This was almost four years back. I did it with a few friends and the group study sessions were immensely helpful.  Also, the fact that we were from diverse backgrounds ensure lot of new learning, at both conceptual and practical level. I, over the years, have used the techniques/concepts learnt for my training sessions and they have been appreciated.  I guess as I write this piece, it is time I find that next online course.
 

'Happy' Parenting- heart breaking & heart melting at the same time

Parenting is hard. It is probably the most difficult thing you have done and you are doing a decent job, trust me. There will be many such moments in the coming years like this morning. Moments when you lose your cool and you actually scream at your 31 month old. That split second when you raise your voice and have a stern face and the next moment when your little ones eyes swell up with tears and she weeps and says, "Please don't sceem Mamma". It is the most heart breaking moment. Like their first vaccination or the first time when she fell on her face, cut her lip and bled a lot; like that time when she had such high fever that she just clung to us all through the day and that time when she needed the superhero mask (nebulization) to take care of that nasty cough. It is that kind of heart breaking.

There will be many such moments because as your child grows, you are also learning with them. There will be moments of pure frustration, moments of anguish, moments when you just want to scream your head off. There are times when you feel that your toddler understands everything and then that time when they just don't get what you are saying. As parents, us being stern, strict and being vocal about it is all well meaning and we can hope that our child will see that.

While I wallowed in self guilt and my mind ran a maze of articles on parenting I had read- strict and liberal parenting, role of punishment and reinforcements, children and sense of entitlement; and of course it was all fuzzy. I was high on emotions and rationality was in slumber.

While as parents, patience is the biggest thing we have learnt, we also need to learn that we must not be so harsh on ourselves. We need to cut ourselves some slack. These little beings are more resilient and perceptive than we can imagine. They also forget these moments quicker than we do. Post her mamma's meltdown, she had her breakfast, got ready for school, enquired what her snacks and lunch is, sang rhymes and hugged me in the cab all the way to school. I told her am sorry that I screamed at her and she just nodded her head and hugged me. A heart melting moment.

While your little one is being a child, you are also being a parent and it is a new experience for both. Happy Parenting! Love them, cuddle them, kiss them, scold them, be stern, be a parent in every way.

I speak for

Dear Ira,

Writing another one of those letters. A letter from a mother to her daughter, from a woman to a girl, from one human being to another. Time and again incidents around us are a stark reminder that we have to look out for ourselves and for each other. We women have to find the strength in we. The new year's eve mass molestation case in Bangalore reiterates the safety concerns for women. But what strikes me as a greater concern is the way women folk have reacted to it. There are some poignant , thought provoking reactions, some jingoisms and then some reactions where the onus of safety is completely on the woman and how she should have the common sense to not do things that can put her in harms way. I want you to know Ira that yes, you are responsible for your safety but you are not responsible for someone else's hideous misbehaviour. You have to be smart to know where to go and how to handle situations but you are not responsible because another human being forgets to behave like one. I want you to know that Papa and I intend to enrol you for some self defence course (guess by the time you get around to reading these blogs of mine, you would have already been enrolled:)); because we want you to be prepared to deal with such people but we don't want you to live in fear.

You are a little girl today and tomorrow, you shall be a young woman. But you will remain our little girl. We want you to be brave, strong, smart. We want you to embrace life for what it is, to be loving, caring and giving. This poem is for you and every other little girl around.

Love,
Mamma

I speak for myself

I speak for all women

Learn to say, "No",

Learn to say, "Enough".

Let your voice be heard,

Let your rage be seen.

Break those stereotypes,

Break those shackles.

Dare to dream,

Dare to speak.

Go, travel the world.

Go, live your life.

Be brave, be smart,

Be confident, be assertive.

Know your rights

Know what is wrong.

Do not give in,

Do not give up.

Find your calling,

Find yourself.

Discover the wild you,

Discover the 'child' in you.

Strike that conversation,

Strike that fire within.

Beat that mind set,

Beat those expectations.

Carve your niche,

Carve your path.

Journey untrodden roads,

Journey unexplored ways.

I speak for Ira,

I speak for all girls.

2017 is here!

2017 is here.

"Happy 2017"

It almost seemed like 2016 went in a jiffy but honestly, it always seems so.  There is so much that happened. We had some eventful and not so eventful work moments. A lot of firsts in terms of parenting. Ira began montessori and life just got more exciting. We made time for things that mattered, people who mattered and life because it mattered. Thankful for all the new friendships made and the new experiences and looking forward to what 2017 has in store. Hoping for a fruitful year work wise, a more healthy year and more newness.

I will also do something new beginning today. I have been gifted a five year journal where you write a line for each day, by a very very dear friend and I look forward to writing a line for each day gone by. This journal will capture experiences, feelings,   thoughts, confusions, Happiness,  madness and more.

Thank you V!