Being Mamma to Ira has been my biggest learning curve. I am learning every day,every moment. Learning to embrace being a mother. Yes, still saying that after almost 5 years and there is no exaggeration to it. Nothing can teach you to be a parent, no amount of reading ,gyaan or observation. It is a journey. You stumble, you grapple, you since, you smile, you try, you do, you make it happen.You learn on the way. Ofcourse, the books, the people, the experiences help...but only so much. Learning to take judgements in my stride, to ignore them with a brave face and do what I think is right for my child.
Many claim to have the mommy gene, I was never too sure. I was scared, scared that I wouldn't be able to do justice to this role, scared that I have to be a standing example for so many things for a little human being, scared that I may not be as patient as I want to be, scared that I may not be able to do everything that I want to,scared whether I will be ever be able to become the best version of myself for my little one.
But as a very dear friend said this morning, "We all do our best and we are wonderfully different. You are the best mom for Ira. It is all that matters". We mothers need to cut ourselves some slack, calm the flowers down and enjoy being a mother. Our world, our child, our mothering, our way!
Having said that, there are some thoughts about the mother that I strive to be...
I will always be there to listen. Listen to your thoughts, your dreams...even if they seem impossible and daunting. You must know that I have your back always.
I will always walk the path with you. I will work hard to ensure I never say, "I told you so". Because we take decisions in a moment when they seem the right one for that moment. I see you making little decisions on what to eat, what to read, what to wear and what to play and my heart swells with pride; because they are your own decisions and you are able to articulate them.
I will ensure you feel that you have the freedom to be what you want to be, love whom you want to love, do what you want to do. I will be there as the wind beneath your wings, but the flight of choice will be yours. Recently you chose to wear one clog from each pair to ensure you had hulk and iron man at the same time. It may have seemed illogical to many, but for us it was about your imaginative mind and giving you the freedom to be.
I will never say 'No' without giving you a valid, justified, reason for my no. You may choose to disagree and I will respect that. There will never be ambiguity to what am thinking. I will speak what is on my mind. It may hurt us at that moment but you will know that you don't have to ever wonder if am speaking my mind. I will be honest with you because I would like you to be honest with me. We see you using logic and negotiating for every small thing and we hope you retain this rationalist streak.
I will stand true to my deepest beliefs and principles. My beliefs in feminism or my stand against casteism for example. I will walk the talk because not only do I know that you are watching me but because I know I want to set a precedent for you to develop your beliefs and principles, through your own experiences.
I will never ever compare you to another child, because that is the worst thing I can do to you and to myself. You are unique and special, the way you are and I will always love you, no matter what.
I will fight tooth and nail for you. I will not fight your battles for you because I think you will be capable enough to fight them. But I will fight every person, every norm, every belief , every custom, every judgement that will shackle your thoughts, bind your dreams and ever dare to tell you, "You are not good enough" , "you don't know", "You didn't do this right"!
You must know and you must believe that I will strive to be the mother that my little girl needs, my little human being deserves.
This morning, Ira heard me wish Ma and then wished me. She just came and hugged and kissed me. What can be more precious than that.Ira and P make me believe am an awesome mom! I have my good days and my difficult days but then we strive together to make parenting an invaluable experience. We learn from eachother, we work on our mistakes, we strive to be patient, to be perseverent, we inspire eachother to be the best version of ourselves as parents and as human beings; and we accept and love all the quirkyness that parenting entails.
So, to a happy mother's day! To loving ourselves and being the best version of ourselves for our little ones.<3 nbsp="" p="">
#HappyMothersDay2019 #Ira #Iraisms #TalesAtFour #IraAtFour #Parenting #Gratitude #Happiness #Learning #LovingOurselves #LittleHumanBeings
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