That little pink flower

Been a while since I have written,  thanks to a monstrous writers block hovering around. However,  clicked this pic on Wednesday and it warranted that I put all those dancing thoughts in my mind to paper, I mean the blog! Let's make it a 'Filmy Friday'.

These days, there is a particular part of the day that I find immensely interesting because it unearths fascinating new moments. Ira has now slowly begun to make friends in the apartment and we go down every (almost) evening for 30-45 minutes at least to play. She takes the balance bike, bat and ball,  badminton and the shuttlecock. She takes with her what fancies her that day. Some days she just randomly walks a few rounds, collects tiny stones,  bird feathers and flowers.  She doesn't talk much to the kids around,  in fact most times does her own thing or admires them doing their own thing. She plays with a few of them,  one particular Didi to keeps the bachcha parties entertained. She plays with Prashant and me. And yes,  she did play laggori with P,  another dad and the other kids one evening.
I love this time of the day because Ira plays,  we play and it entails a lot of random musings. On Wednesday, she suddenly hot two flowers and said one was for Papa and one for me and then when I put it in my hair, she smiled and said,  Mamma you are looking so beautiful. Precious,  heart melting moment. Wish the picture could capture every ounce of that emotion.  And ofcourse,  that little pink flower is my current favorite flower.
#Iraisms #Ira #gratitude #happyparenting #Precious #heartmelting #TalesAtThree #sayitwithaflower

Bees Saal Baad (20 years later)

  **Nithin Sagi creates magic and captures the afternoon beautifully in these pictures

When you relive memories, old time jokes and try to catch up on the twenty years gone by in the span of one cacophonic Sunday afternoon.
Recently,  a very diligent NPS classmate of ours formed a WhatsApp group and invited everyone. We all added whoever we were in touch with and soon it was a large WhatsApp group with all of us having stories and memories of school,  vibrant and in every hue. As happens with newly formed groups,  we also decided to have a mini reunion in Bangalore with almost 50% of us being here. After some intensive and exhausting planning and a pick of lots by a resourceful mom's kids,  we decided to meet at Miller's 46 this afternoon.

All the planning, discussion and decisions came together symbiotically as the afternoon unveiled. 12 of us made it for the meet. One of them deserves a special mention because he just flew down from UK today and made the effort to join in. Well,  actions do speak louder than words.

We shared stories of what we all did post school,  what we are doing now,  spouses,  kids,  passion and midlife crisis. We spoke about our teachers and the absentees at lunch with vehement enthusiasm. We surely brought the house down with our boisterous conversations and loud laughs. Lunch was followed by some delectable desserts at a cafe and more gupshup. We did leave today with a plan to meet again soon! And I sure can't wait.

Bees Saal Baad... Life came a full circle.

#schoolfriends #reunion #memories #stories #NPSites

The inconsequential existence

The abuse that women face,  be it emotional, physical or sexual is a multilayer phenomena. This poem is an attempt to delve into the mind of a woman undergoing abuse and has been written as part of the Women's Web blogathon on #ALetterToHer.

The silent glares

Hitting every fibre of my being

The hurtful words

Breaking every spirited moment

The invisible shackles

Binding my dreams

The unsaid rules

Bending every glimmer of hope

The darkness within

Dissolving the person I was

The wisp of air

The frightened quiver

The tear-filled eyes

Hands that shiver

Clammy feet

Uneven heartbeat

Moment of despair

The inconsequential existence

The rules of 'no'

Tying every action to the roots

No place for consent

Quieten the muffled voices

Never treated like a human

An object of disection and persuasion

Even screams found unworthy

Of a lending ear

Time stood still

Clasping frail hands cry in agony

The descending plethora of grey

Wiping out my passive existence

Moment by moment

Action by action

Stare by stare

#ALetterToHer

I have been reading about  Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You  (bit.ly/Meenabk2) and would like to read a copy of it because I feel that it is a story every women must read. Many women around deal with abuse on a daily basis. Some are often not even aware that it is abuse. Abuse is a silent killer,  killing the spirit of women. I hope that this book will also give strength to women who are dealing with abuse. Because, nothing is more powerful than one woman standing up for another and resonating the strength together.

So many stories untold

What a day this has been.  Met someone special today at Claytopia , Koramangala (a beautiful Cafe) whose work I have been following for a few years now. She personifies grace and humility and all that you read about her is what you see when you meet her in person. Sunita, just so glad that we met today before you embark on your new journey. And needless to say,  am glad another 'labour of love' from Indian Yards has found a place in our home. Also, it was absolutely fabulous to have met some more amazing women doing wonderful work and making a difference to the lives of people around.

Travelling across town is like an adventure. This meet up was followed by a visit to Sutradhar,  Indiranagar with a few friends to do some shopping for the 'little girl' at home. A historic day indeed. Bought Ira her first ever doll. Also bought a book about a dolphin called Ira.  Met Sujani, my MSc junior, who is an educator at a city school today after 13years. It's always wonderful to have friends who share interests that are varied and yet there is a common connect,  a common thread,  a common tale. An impromptu lunch plan at Sumit and Jyoti 's place, along with Sonali (thanks to whom we made it to Sutradhar today) and Priya,  and some fun adult time chatting about little human beings and all that they do.

I also took the metro today from ulsoor to goraguntepalya, with a change at majestic. Got my first metro card,  took that feel good selfie and got home in flat 37 minutes, travelling across town.
Prashant had a busy work day and Ira was picked up from school by her Dadu. While I wait to hear from them about their day,  I can't wait to tell and show them how my day was. I also can't wait to see how Ira reacts to her doll.
It was a day of inspiration and reflection,  a day of blissful Happy moments!
#friendsmeet #womenwhoinspire #books #firstdollforIra #Iraisms #Ira #adolphinnamedIra #TalesAtThree

Tale of two little girls, this Father's day

My Baba strongest, is all I know
Be it rain, storm or uncertainty galore
The line inspires lifelong for sure
*****************************************
You are the best dad in the whole world
Says Ira with sunshine innocence
The magic lifeline for daughter diaries
*****************************************
We are their 'little girls'
Happy and Proud like the spring blossom
Stories etched in hearts forever
*****************************************
#Baba #Papa #Father'sDay2017 #TalesatThree #microblogging  #happiness #bliss #gratitude

Keeping ‘Little Human Beings’ busy…the Ira way

March 24^th to June 7^th, 2017 will always be a historic summer for us. Ira’s first summer holidays. As parents, this phase involves a multitude of emotions.

Some thoughts that bring relief- Mornings may be a little less rushed next few weeks, no pondering what to pack for the multiple little boxes, how to keep cold and fever at bay for your little one when every other kid has a runny nose or a stuffy nose, a cough or a sneeze or just that irritating bug.

The primary summer concern- How to keep the active, excited, non-stop chattering little human being occupied for the next 75 days! I like to make plans, make lists and strategize. We do believe in unstructured play but I did vehemently plan play dates. We wanted her to do her own thing but we also wanted her to be a part of the summer camps and experience something new. Ira is an early riser and we did hope that she sleeps in longer during these days.

Summer Camp and Party Time

This decision was very easy and yet, a bit hard. While listening to moms talking about how this is a real break, kids must just play at home or visit family or do nothing, a part of me began tripping on the guilt path. I am currently a freelance consultant, working primarily from home. However, the busy days can be real hard. I knew the summer camp choice was for two reasons- 1. We get those few hours to work while she is at the camp 2. Summer camp promises to be a fun learning experience for her. P and I decided to send her for all of them. The themes were sea creatures, space and earth. She absolutely loved the first one. We conclude going by the loot of things she brought home on the last day of the camp, post the party and excitedly showed us. Otherwise, every day when we asked what she did, a stoic silence or nothing was the reply. The second one she attended the first day before coming down with a nasty bug that lasted over a week. She did return to the third camp all smiles and learnt about earth.

Learnings:

·         Ira had fun

·         She learnt a lot of new things. She learnt about submarines, lighthouse, germination, earth and more

·         She made new friends

·         She finally took to the water play

·         She was excited every morning to go to the camp, most excited about the party day

·         It was a decision well taken

·         Happiness guaranteed when you listen to your little one constantly sing, “Big blue whale, big blue whale…s(w)imming in the water…”

Chores and Activities galore

Ira quite likes the outdoors. She loves the parks and play areas. This summer, she also got a pretty good hang of her balance bike and now all our friends who visit are shown her biking skills. While we did some crafts activities, did vegetable painting, finger painting, block prints, glue and paper activities, these would last for a few minutes to maximum half an hour. However, they often set the momentum for the day and the excitement to show her papa what she did that day when he came home from work. Ira ofcourse took on the task of sweeping and swobbing every other day, post Usha  (our house help) finishing her work. She helped us cut veggies (under parental guidance only) and even stirred the alu bhaja in the kadai. The idea is to make the chores fun and ensure the activities don’t seem like chores. We have always spoken to Ira like she is an adult and we followed the same dictum with getting her involved in the activities. So, she sprayed water on the car and cleaned the surface, we used the veggies she cut and we also ate the veggies she stirred on the kadai. Activities give them a sense of independence and is a great source of encouragement. While some days are creative and some days, we just sat and watched a movie. Even mamma feeling lazy had its perks.

Learnings:

·         Kids like to be involved in home chores

·         Chores to be carried out under parental guidance only

·         Mix and Match the activities- building blocks, painting and craft, car washing. Assured of happy times.

·         What works today may not work tomorrow, to keep them occupied. Kids are smart, can think of a thousand things to do. Eg. Watering a concrete wall, cleaning the jhaadu strands. The list is endless.

Experiment is thy Name

1.       Can I slackline on the window?

2.       Can I make carrot soup(imaginary) for you?

3.       Can I take one photo in your phone?

4.       Can I work on my small lappot (laptop)?

5.       Can I go down by myself in the lift?

Pretend play, Unstructured play and no play becomes the norm some days. Replicating our conversations with either Bonnie or Leo or Snowy, while is entertaining for us, is serious business for Ira. We once in a while gave her the phone to take that one pic. The result would be burst shorts, gallery full of pics and a happy little human being. While we are quite strict about electronics and gadget usage, we gave her with limited time and some ground rules. She of course plays a surfer game and makes cakes in the pebble bay with elan now.

Learnings:

·         Sometimes let the child be and discover all the things they can be- astronaut, dinosaur, doctor, teacher, dancer, story teller, chef, photographer, movie buff.

We love People

Summer holidays also meant she spent ample time with her Dadu-Dida and Joy, her Ajji and also her Mashidida, Meshodadu and Rony. While she went shopping with them, bought veggies and her favorite fruits, she also demanded that elusive lollypop. Grandparents are a child’s best friend because they never say No! While Ira discovered how to make their world turn around her, we realised how with her, they rediscover the child within. We also planned some play dates and met a lot of babies (says Ira). Having friends over and busy weekends drove home the point again that today as most of us live in nuclear setups, children naturally crave for people around them. Like P often jokes that she must be at times bored of just seeing us.

Learnings:

·         Play dates meant chaos, fun and ‘learning to share toys’.

·         Play dates are a great way for the mommies and daddies to get to know the other mommies and daddies

·         Being and introduced as Ira’s mom or Ira’s dad becomes the norm

·         Summer break is a boon for the grandparents

·         The little human beings absorb all the love around, it can never be enough

·         Learning to express love though a hug or a peck is a big step for their little feet

On the last day of her holiday, while playing with kinder blocks, Ira made a car in which she was going to school and mamma was saying bye. The eyes moisten at this moment because you realise that your baby is now a ‘little girl’. Please note that now Ira likes to be referred to as a little girl as she feels she is no more a baby. What seemed like so many days, are now gone past and we are left with memories of her first summer break to recount, write and talk about. Summer holiday also seems like a growth spurt time, literally. The kids seem taller and there is a tremendous increase in vocabulary. Must be the summer sunshine effect. Like Ira would say, “First of all guys, that’s my logic”.

Mamma, I will take the lady bug bag today!

 "Mamma,  I will take the lady bug bag today!"

One of the best things about the montessori education we feel is that Ira does a lot of things herself. She wears her own shoes,  packs her own little bag when we travel or visit a friend, keeps her plate or bowl in the sink post a meal and even throws garbage in the designated bins. These may come across as small chores but for a three year old, these are stepping stones to being independent and self sufficient. Another reason we are grateful for the type of learning  that we have chosen.

#Ira #Iraisms #School #Parenting #gratitude #JackfruitHouse #independent #selfsufficient #TalesatThree #microblogging 

"And though she be but little, she is fierce"

Ira discovered the joy of a birthday this year. Having been introduced to the concept of cake cutting at school,  she likes birthdays because they mean cake. As she turned three today,  she woke up this morning and told her Papa it was her happy birthday and that he should wish her. When dadu sang Happy birthday, she told him song is during cake cutting; on phone just happy birthday. She told her Ajji, see you in the evening. A Dear friend visited her and the eyes sparkled because she discovered the next best thing,  birthday gifts. The sparkle in the eyes and the ear to ear grin just said it all.  She got Pluto for company,  a dancing octopus,  wooden puzzles, clothes,  blocks in wood and plastic, and crafts and books through the day. Each little gift was embraced with a squeal of excitement. This was also the first year when she attended calls. She promptly said, "Thank you for Wishing me" .  Ofcourse,  Papa and Mamma felt proud. There are many influences in the life of a little girl. Ira in the last few months has discovered superheroes and likes, Kara- the supergirl and wants to be strong like her,  fly like her and save the world like her. So,  while choosing what she would wear for her birthday,  the choice was obviously a tee with the superhero emblem and prior to that a top that said,  "And though she be but little, she is fierce" summing up our little girl and her little world. A world that we are discovering bit by bit everyday. Happy birthday Ira! Thank you for being the reason for our 'Earth Rejoicing'!

#Iraisms #Ira #gratitude #happyparenting #grandparentsareprecious #happiness #happybirthday #iwantcake #earthrejoicing #heartmelting #turning3

Love the way Ove does

Name of the Book: A Man Called Ove
Name of the Author: Fredrik  Bachman
Genre: Fiction,  Romance

This is a love story. Love story of a man whose life is  like an assembled tool kit till he meets a woman who creates some cacophony in that pattern. He sees the world in black and white but he is still perceived full of colour by a three year old. To him,  his wife is the most colourful element in his life, someone, before and after whom there was no colour.
His fixed ways of doing things,  his notions about people and his opinions on cars and houses make him annoying in bits and endearing in large measures. It is almost like there is a large brick wall you knock at to understand him,  to see that wall disappear just the next instant.
A large man literally dealing with his broken heart, his loss cannot be measured in words. You feel Sonja in his every breath, his every action,  his every thought, his every conversation near the gravestone.
I cried copiously reading this book because you fall in love with Ove for what he is- a man in love. His shortcomings,  his anger, his fury over the world notwithstanding. Parvaneh is like that breath of fresh air, an immensely lovable character. She is like the catalyst who ensure the actions and reactions take new turns.
A Man called Ove is a delightful read. I came across this book reco on the FB group Senior Reading Raccoons and am glad I picked it up during a recent visit to Blossoms. Read it, shed that tear, for you will see a man so deeply in love with his woman that you all somewhere would want to be a part of his life.
#Booksin2017 #Book6Review #FredrikBachman #love #marriage

Some of my favorite things... Chai and more

My Thursday morning began with a big mug of Assam chai and me filling my journal. Everything about it was special. The chai and the journal have been gifted by two of my besties.

I have always loved planners and have had some gorgeous ones during college life,  diligently bought end of December to begin using from January first. Once upon a time, I did attempt to keep a diary but it got too emotional at a point and I stopped writing. This December when I was gifted this 5 year one line a day journal,  the little girl in me was thrilled to bits. I have been diligently noting down about my day,  what happens, sometimes what am feeling. Suddenly, those few lines seem little but I can't wait to look at it five years down the line to see how every May 18th was for me in the last five years. Given the paucity of space,  I jot down what seems most important part of the day and when I look back at the last five months, it's a motley mix of things. This journal will always have a special place in my heart, like forever.

My love for chai began at Mounts thanks to the 'Ditchers'. Our night out conversations were interspersed with mugs of chai. We girls could drink chai anytime anywhere. From there, the love only grew and I had chai partners at IISc. Friends with whom you go for that chai break and who can almost take a chai break anytime, the hour of the day being inconsequential. This love deepened further when I visited Assam and the Nilgiris for work and 20% of my baggage would be chai, brought home much to the delight of the significant other, who also is a chai lover. With Prashant, I discovered the earthiness of makaibari green tea, the golden colour of the darjeeling tea and the beauty of a white tea brewed perfectly. My favorite ofcourse is adrak wali chai because nothing wakes your senses like that. So,  grateful for beautiful mornings like this and everything else too.

#someofmyfavoritethings #gratitude #besties #friendsknowyou #beautifulmorning #assamchai #happiness #bliss #chaipartners #significantother #ditchers

From Ira's Mamma to her Dida

Being a mom is the most difficult task and somehow our mothers made it seem so easy as we grew up! To the silent warriors that our moms have been to the 'let's conquer the world'  warriors that our daughters as moms, will one day be <3 day="" happy="" mother="" p="" s="">

When I think of my Ma, there are some memories about food, some about her disciplining and some about the way she deals with relationships in her life. In each of them is a learning that I have discovered latently. She is also the woman I argue the most with,  fight with, annoy and at the same time love the most. I don't understand a lot of things she does and why she does them, but I guess she has her reasons like Joy says.

Luchi and Alu and all things sweet! 

Today as a mom, when we plan the week menu for breakfast, I realise what a tedious task it is. Ma  would make phulkas or luchi or porota on demand every morning. This she would do diligently 365 days a year and I truly wonder how. Mornings were special when it was luchi time. The lunch box variety with khichdi and  alu bhaja would be a favorite and the yummy vegetable noodles. Ofcourse the alu posto,  the shukto, the maach paaturi and the tomator chutney have had their moments. I today understand that the best way for her to express her love was through making food for us. To date,  she makes the best payesh (the Bong kheer) and Joy will concur with this.

The long list of questions and the right thing to do

Ma was always strict in her own way. I will always remember that as a  five year old, I once picked something from the road on the way home. Well,  I did get some taps on the knuckles but I will always remember that we should never pick anything from the ground. A childhood lesson well learnt. She was my first teacher,  she sat with me every evening for the school homework, taught me all the Social Science subjects while Baba taught me Maths and Science. As kids, Joy and I almost saw her life revolve around ours- our studies, our extra-curricular activities and even our exams. Her social calendar was also decided based on our schedules. She was often ridiculed for that but she stood her ground. In modern definition, she would be a SAHM but at that time,  it was just taken for granted that she would do everything for us, no need for fancy labels. She was also the one who would deal with our long list of questions. Later of course ,  Baba received the same barrage as soon as he got home from work. All the times when Baba was out of town for long duration, she managed home and us,  with no complaints ever.

People management and all the gyaan that comes with it

Ma is a non-confrontational person. She stays away from arguments and fights. Often growing up I have seen people being rude to her and she won't respond. There have been moments when this angers me but I also understand that it takes a whole lot of strength to be this tolerant. She is a nurturer in every sense, putting the need of the other person before hers. Today of course I fight with her because I tell her that she must begin to think about herself and stand up for herself when someone is not nice to her.  But she brushes it aside saying am too 'sposhto bokta' (blunt) like Baba.

Some memories and some moments about Ma that I absolutely treasure

Ma used to be a part of plays for the Durga Puja annual function when we were in Mysore. It was fabulous to see her on stage and even now when I look at those photos, I know where that love for theatre comes from,  apart from the microphonic voice.
She used to read a lot of Bengali story books to us as kids,  Roop Kotha, being my favorite. I now urge her to start reading them for Ira, because stories always make the best memories.
She also makes the best phulkas and this is something that makes me very snooty about how the phulkas must be. I am far from reaching her standard for phulkas, some day... I live in hope.

In recent times, my favorite moment is when she makes alu bhaja for Ira and her eyes have the same sparkle and glee that Joy and I would have exhibited as kids.

Ma and I are chalk and cheese in many many ways. One common thing that binds us is the love for Chinese food and the fact that the favorite people in our lives are the same. I may not say it enough and one blog post can ever be enough to talk about a parent.

But here it is today, from one mom to another!
Happy Mother's Day Ma!

#grateful #mother #mothersday #memories #love #Ira #Iraisms #childhood